Zen Chick

Zen Chick

Slow down. Simplify. Love your life.

"There is more to life than increasing its speed. Slow down, breathe and enjoy. "

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My “10 things for 2021” list and how I did.

By Gay Barefield Leave a Comment Dec 1

“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.”

As I look back to January of this year, I’m reflecting on “My 10 things for 2021”, which were things I wanted to do and stand for, in place of goals and intentions. Looking back, I see what things I want to carry into 2022, what needs to be tweaked, and how well I accomplished these things on my list. So I thought I would share my end-of-year ritual with you…..

Here’s my list:

#1 – To stand in my truth as much as I can, this means not giving into someone else’s truth, I can listen and learn but I don’t need to sacrifice my truth for theirs.

#2 – To get very clear on that truth, through my meditation and writing.

#3 – To do a better job of staying in touch with my friends, yes I do well, but I think the physical act of writing notes and letters is even better, including phone calls.

#4 – To make sure my health and well-being (both physical and mental) are a priority and to safeguard that above all else, fill my cup first so I can give later.

#5 – Be bold enough to put my dreams and ideas into action. I proved to myself in 2020 by finally painting that I can do it and I just need to do more.

#6 – Be as open as possible to change, which could mean a different career or something else. Big or small.

#7 – LET SHIT GO, quit worrying and chewing on things, the past is truly the past and it can’t be changed so why replay it.

#8 – Enjoy the moments with my hubby and our girls, live each day as it is the only one I will have.

#9 – ENJOY LIFE DAMMIT, it may not be perfect but live with no regrets of not living it fully.

#10 – Share the love!

So how did I do?

#1 & #2 – I feel I have done well in standing in my truth and listening to other truths. My daily meditation and writing practice have helped so much and are such a part of my well-being.

#3 – I still feel I want to write more notes and letters (written words are things that you can read again and again which is very important) Also, it means a lot that someone took the time to write to you!

#4 – Doing better because the anxiety I was feeling had lots to do with not using my time well (yep sounds a little crazy but doing things that didn’t deserve my time caused the anxiety – Thanks Marie Forleo and Time Genius!)

#5 – I’m a little behind the curve on this one, yes I’ve made some strides, like working with my horse again and teaching her a new technique, taking a month-long course, and completing it, but I feel there is more to do so will stay open to what comes my way.

#6 – This I got, change is ongoing and I always strive to be open to all possibilities.

#7 – Oh yes, another anxiety-induced issue that I have learned gets you nothing so I have been so much better at letting shit go!

#8 – Covid helped show me a lot about this but it is always a work in progress and something I always want to strive for improvement.

#9 – Once I realized what little things I was doing to myself and getting anxious over, that reality made my life so much more enjoyable that now I am living my best life, even when things go south.

#10 – We all want to be loved and I try very hard to tell my peeps that I love them on a regular basis. (this includes all people in my life because love grows in lots of ways)

As I look back on my list and now evaluate how well I have done, yes there may be a few things I may change or tweak a little but overall this list is very evergreen and I can see it becoming my “thing” to revisit every December. To me, these are lessons in living my best life, which is what we all strive for, isn’t it?

What about you, my friend, what will be your list for 2022? Remember not every list has to start at the beginning of a new year, it can start on your birthday year, or you could do a mini version every 6 months, either way, make it about how YOU want to live your best life!

Let me hear your thoughts or one item from your list in the comments. I love hearing from all of you!

Peace and Love!

 

Eat your cake first, shake up your reward system

By Gay Barefield Leave a Comment Jan 20

“Joy is the ultimate reward in life.”
― Sunday Adelaja

January is almost gone and with the month ending, reflection begins on the New Year’s resolutions, intentions or goals. Am I still doing what I set out to do or do I need to look for ways to keep the momentum going?

Just like the quote says, “Joy is the ultimate reward in life”, so when the resolve starts wavering the joy gets lost. Would more time or a different way to do things help?

Here are my thoughts…….

Knowing there was a reward waiting for me when I finished an extra workout, write an extra blog post, clean out a drawer/closet, would help my momentum but not necessarily my joy.

So I decided to switch it up and get the reward first……you know the saying “Eat dessert first.”

For me, I have found if I rewarded myself first, “I’m going to take a walk with the dogs and then I will sit with my project for the next 30 minutes,” my 30 minutes would last longer before my attention span hollered for the next reward/break.

Now I know for some this may seem like a bad idea, you may wander down a rabbit hole and never get your work done, which may be true unless you set a time limit for your reward too.

And that’s the key, your reward has to be on a time limit to balance out the benefit of reward first then work.

Tiny steps will move you forward in both reward and work balance, giving you the ability to get more done without feeling like you have to put your nose to the grindstone before you get to take the reward break.

Give it a try, switch up your reward system and see if there is more “joy” in your life, the joy in knowing that your New Year’s resolutions will survive in the long run.

 

Tiny Action Steps = The Wake-Up Call For Your Life

By Gay Barefield Leave a Comment Feb 23

“Baby steps count, too, as long as you’re moving forward.”

~Chris Gardner

I have been struggling with something, and maybe you can relate. A couple of years ago, I declared lots of white space in my calendar after hitting the wall, HARD, and burning down and out. 

Last year, I still set no goals or agendas, letting things free flow and waiting for something to drop from the sky: a project, an agenda, a reason to focus and work. 

Nothing! 

Okay I thought, I will still allow white space and time, letting the Universe tell me what I need to do.

Still Nothing!

Let me stop right here and say, I’m not a proponent for busy just to say I’m busy because creativity and ideas do need white space and time for things to take form. But what I have discovered this new year, is you need to take action in the form of movement for the Universe (aka Muse) to take you seriously. 

Baby steps to let the Universe know that you are ready to move forward, that you are welcoming what it may bring your way and you are ready to receive. 

During my morning meditation the message I received from my Sacred Path cards, was Warbonnet, which means Advance. Here’s one of the questions from the card’s description:

“Am I willing to be a pathfinder and to explore the possibilities of my future creations by boldly taking action now?”

Small steps, revisiting some creative ideas, tweaking some projects, setting a simple agenda to start working on some of these things I’ve started dusting off. Showing the Universe that I am here and I’m ready once again.

So I ask of you, “Are you ready to take that action, to move forward with baby steps, and explore your future creations?”

I hope you will join me in not being busy for the sake of doing something but moving toward that project, idea or thought that keeps dogging you. See if it is worthy of your time and energy or if there is something beyond that old idea that needs more of your attention. 

2019 is our year of putting things out in the world that the world needs. That “need” is YOU, your ideas, energy and how you show up for others.

Peace, Love and Tiny Steps!

P.S. I was interviewed Monday by a local writer, here is the article.

If you are on FB, you can find it here. Feel free to share and show this writer some love by following. Thanks!

My Independence Day – One Year Later

By Gay Barefield Leave a Comment Jul 22

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” ~ Mary Oliver

(disclaimer: this article is not intended to “shame” anyone who is still on FB or Twitter, it is about my journey and what I have learned this past year.)

My Independence Day is actually on July 19th, 2017, when I declared my independence from Facebook and Twitter by deactivating both accounts. As I celebrate my one year anniversary, I want to share with you what I have learned.

Let me begin by being completely honest, I still have an Instagram account that I visit maybe every 4 or 5 days, sometimes less frequently, so I do have a social media connection, but Facebook was my biggest addiction, with Twitter jumping in from time to time.

One year later and yes I documented the day to see how long I could go without the lure of FB and Twitter, life continues to go on, the world is still turning, and my ability to connect is stronger than ever!

What???? You can connect without social media (yes you know this already but let me remind you)

I have had lunches, dinners, and coffees, catching up with people who I have not seen in years by reaching out with emails, calls or letters and been more “social” in the last year since ditching social media than ever before.

I am doing more reading and writing, even starting a series here on Zen Chick called Spirit Moon Notes, delivered before the new and full moon of each month. Each note, explains the energy associated with those moon phases and gives a journal prompt to help you process that energy.

My creativity and intuition are better because I have more time for them both and I can listen more closely to them. I’m more connected with nature and the natural rhythms of life.

Now, before you think that its all been rainbows and unicorns, it has not, the first week, I got itchy, wanting something to distract me, like social media. There are still times when I get my addiction other ways, like the news feed app, which I recently deleted from my phone and iPad. And I do catch myself reaching for Instagram too often at times so again; I deleted the app.

My “monkey mind” is a busy little thing and I have to direct that cute little monkey to things that are worthy of my attention. It’s a process, and as long as I have a phone, iPad, and computer, the temptation will always be there.

But the difference I see in my life right now and the fact that I don’t miss FB or Twitter, keeps me moving forward with my “independence.” And for me, that feels good.

Let me hear from you in the comments; is there something in your life (not necessarily social media) that you have let go of that has given you a new sense of freedom or independence?

Sharing is caring, so please share because we all learn from each other.

Peace and Love!

 

 

Trending Now: Simplicity

By Gay Barefield Leave a Comment Apr 23

“It is not a daily increase, but a daily decrease.

Hack away at the inessentials.” ~ Bruce Lee

There’s a new trend happening on the internet, and it’s been catching on like wildfire. It’s called, “Simplicity” and it’s making a come back in the digital world.

At the beginning of 2018, there was chatter among some of the well-known bloggers/writers that I follow, saying they wanted to take their businesses back down to a more simple format, less tech, less social media, more service to the people on their lists. Less fuss, more time for themselves and more service to the people that follow them.

Tear it down, rebuild the empire and take it back to old school “simple.”

With the more recent news of data breaches on Facebook and other social media outlets, even more, bloggers/writers/online businesses are ditching their social media accounts, going back to basics, only serving their tribes and feeling good about knowing people will find them without all of the “social fluff.”

Can I say I love all of this!

I ditched Facebook 9 months ago, along with Twitter and now only have an Instagram account that doesn’t see a lot of activity. Have I missed being less connected through social media? The answer is a resounding “No!”

What has happened to me personally, without social media, is more of a desire to connect face to face with friends and family, to teach more workshops and to share more through my writing. I don’t worry about the number of subscribers or people finding out about my workshops; I’m of the belief that people will find you when they need what you have to offer.

To some this may sound lame or a wrong business model, but it gives me the ability to change, tweak and take my time building what I want to develop without worrying about posting on FB, tweeting it out on Twitter or keeping track of  “likes” and tags.

Simplicity is where Zen Chick started, and that is where I will stay, making my life and hopefully yours a little more simple with my words and suggestions.

So ditch social media? That choice is yours, and I’m not here to make you feel guilty, but ask yourself how much simpler your life might be if you have a little more of your time back? Try a short sabbatical from social media and see how that feels, if it feels good then go a bit longer.

Connect with your friends, face to face more often, make dinner plans, go for coffee, get with your tribe. We are all herd animals, we need our peeps, and we need to connect on a physical level. Having a little more time in your life can make that possible.

Now, let me hear from you, how else could you simplify your life, what is one other little change you could make to add more time and less stress? Sharing is caring, and we all need to learn from each other so please share in the comments and share this post with someone in your life.

Peace and Love,

Gay ~ Zen Chick

 

Shifting My Thoughts, Changing My Year

By Gay Barefield Leave a Comment Feb 10

Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world,

Today I am wise, so I’m changing myself.

When 2018 started, I was completely determined to make it MY YEAR! I turn 60 this year and with the beginning of each new decade of my life, I like to start it off with a bang! Some dramatic change that adds simplicity and peels away all of the layers of living that I have accumulated. (you can only carry around so much emotional baggage!)

So this year I was determined to stay focused on the positive, every day, regardless of what else is going on in my world or the world as a whole. I set a few intentions for this year, one was to continue to maintain my daily meditation practice, listen to my intuition more and let go of worry, doubt and overwhelm.

In the last two weeks, the Universe decided to put the shift in my thinking to the test, delivering me a series “what else could go wrong?” antics. What I found when I shifted and focused on as much positive as I could, was angels disguised as humans.

Angels who helped me navigate my situation, no questions asked. Who remained calm and kept my problem in their sights and worked with me. Angels who, when I became frustrated, empathized and once again remained calm. And even a “coffee angel” who gave me a much-needed cup of that wonderful brew. (most of you know how I feel about my coffee LOL)

As I write this and look back on these last two weeks, I see and appreciate the blessings that these angels gave to me and how even in the face of lots of frustration and stress, focusing on the positive made things easier.

I know this year will be filled with more of these challenges, I fully expect it because life is a bumpy, rough journey with smooth edges thrown in to temper the path. But knowing that my journey now is the beginning of a new decade, I’m more determined to make more smooth edges and smile often over the rough parts.

How about you? Can you join me in this new way of thinking and together we can be wise enough to change ourselves? What a beautiful impact we could make on the whole world.

Leave a comment and tell me what shifts you have made in your thinking. And please share this post with a friend.

Peace and Love!

How Will You Shape Your 2018?

By Gay Barefield Leave a Comment Dec 25

“You will always belong anywhere you show up as yourself and talk about yourself and your work in a real way.”
― Brené Brown, Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone

I don’t know about all of you but 2018 can’t get here fast enough! 2017 has been an emotional roller coaster with the political front, the news front, personal front and everything in between. Whew!

I want to open your mind to a different way of shaping your life as you move into 2018. Astrologically speaking, according to Jennifer Racioppi, this year will be about moving in the direction of your soul as Saturn animates your life lessons. Sounds a little deep but now is the time that the world needs the real you to step forward.

For me, this brings up a lot of questions about choices versus obligations and living more authentically as my true self.

Let me clarify about choices versus obligations, from my last post about my adult kids, where they made a conscious choice to take an emotional timeout for the holidays, obligation did not come into play which was a wonderful thing. They changed what would be an obligation to a choice.

Now before you start ticking off your “obligations,” and yes we all have some that we have to do, ask yourself could some of them change into “choices?” For 2018, ask yourself first, “Could this obligation be a choice instead?” and if the answer is yes, then you get to decide whether it will fit into your new life.

Now, let’s look at living and showing up as authentically as you possibly can in 2018. We all wear “masks” in our lives, the faces we show certain people or use in specific situations. What if we slowly started revealing our true selves in all situations, basing our “choices” on what our authentic selves would want to do instead of how it would fit the “mask.”

“You are only free when you realize you belong no place—you belong every place—no place at all. The price is high. The reward is great.”-Maya Angelou

When you start to live authentically, you will feel that you belong no place which can be very lonely at first. Then slowly and trust me this is a s-l-o-w process which may not even be completed in quite a few years, you will realize that yes the price is high, people won’t like the new you but in the end the reward is great! Living a truly authentic life, freeing the chains that may have bound you could not be a better way to start 2018.

To start this journey, ask yourself, what roadblocks stand in my way for me to make more choices instead of obligations and for me to live my life as authentically as possible? Write them down and be as honest as you can.

Then with the arrival of the Full Moon on January 1st, 2018, it is the perfect time to let go (burn or tear up your list) of what is standing in your way, what you don’t need in your life anymore and what your true intentions are for this beautiful New Year.

I wish you the best for 2018 and together we will slay some demons and create a space for all of us to live our lives authentically. Please share with someone in your life that needs to reshape their 2018.

Peace and love

Stress Is NOT A Badge Of Honor

By Gay Barefield Leave a Comment Oct 19

“You pay for stress all the same way, no matter how good the reasons.” ~ unknown

I’ve been a massage therapist for 25 years and I see stress up close every day in the work I do with my clients. Stress is something we all experience, some days or weeks more than others and it’s called “Life.”

Here’s where my issue comes in with stress and women (sorry guys this is all about the ladies) is when I hear a woman that is “proud” of how stressed she is, saying things like “See I knew my shoulders were so tight, didn’t I tell you!” or “I knew I had all of these knots that I can’t get rid of and I don’t have time to take care of myself.”

The response I feel these women want is, “Good girl, I’m so proud of you for carrying that stress around like a real trooper and I want you to continue piling it on because it will prove you are a really tough girl!”

Society teaches us, as women, that we should “put on our big girl pants” and take everything on ourselves while the rest of the world marvels at our tenacity. That mindset translates into a warped sense of a job well done, a job that will kill us if we don’t stop holding it up as a badge of honor!

So how do you stop?

Start by listening to your words around stress, listen to your girlfriends’ words around their stress, remind yourself and them that “doing it all” is not a worthy merit badge to work toward nor to brag about.

Ease up, (I promise the world won’t stop revolving), take a little time to reflect on why you think you need that badge of honor. Is it guilt? Or a sense of duty? Or is it the way things have always been and the fear of change is standing in the way?

Taking time out for YOU is a much better badge of honor to earn and by working toward that badge, you are also teaching each of us that it’s okay to have that time.

PLEASE, we need the power and beautiful energy of women now, more than ever before. The more you take care of yourself and diffuse the stress, the more your light shines brightly on Mother Earth.

And that can heal a lot more than just tight shoulders!

Peace and Love to you all!

The Break-Up

By Gay Barefield Leave a Comment Jul 23

“Because I know that at the end of my life, sharing pics & quips & LOLs & emoticons & working diligently to create a “presence”  on social media networking platforms & eagerly seeking “likes” & “shares” & “hearts” and so forth is not a time investment that I will feel proud of. To the contrary, it’s one I will probably regret.”

~ Alexandra Franzen

It happened once again but this time it was expected, the signs were there and I had been ignoring them for a while. The lost time, the anxiety, the dilemma of what to do or not do, the anger and frustration.

Now it’s done and it was simple, to the point and not really messy at all. (okay it was a little messy)  It’s only been a few days but I feel free, light and my new life resides in the “clueless” realm.

My break up was with Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest, with Instagram hanging in the balance. I also broke up with all of my news feed apps and right now am living mostly “clueless.”

What pushed me over the edge? A single email from a beautiful soul named Alex that arrived in my inbox, asking these questions: “Do I have to?”, Do I need that?”, Could there be another way?” and my all time favorite, “What would happen if I just stopped?”

You won’t find Alex on Facebook, Twitter or any social media sites, she doesn’t run her business or life that way but is a powerful writer and has been hired by some of the best, besides writing her own books.

Okay so back to me and my choice, once I asked those 4 questions, I knew that my time, (which I could easily lose on one of those sites), the ease and joy of my life, and my creativity were all suffering from information overload. Simple is what I want my life to be and complicated is what it had become from too much information.

Which leads me to clueless. You see for information that I need or want, interactions with my friends, a lunch date or Saturday morning trip to the farmers market, does the work better than clicking on an app. I am making a conscience choice of whether or not I want to ask the question about what is happening or choose to be clueless.

Let me stop here and say, I’m not putting anyone one down for being on Facebook or any social media sites if it works for you, rock it on! But this is my third round of going off and I wanted it to really stick so I went for broke by deactivating them all.

So if you are already a part of my fantastic Zen Chick community, I will still be here, listening to and writing for all of you. If not and you are reading this, please join us by subscribing below this post. I will be around on my farm enjoying the beauty of nature, my hubby, and our animal family or at my business helping people feel better about their bodies and possibly their lives.

Peace and big love!

What To Do Next……

By Gay Barefield Leave a Comment May 21

This is a follow up from our last post about moving a little clutter out of your life.

You have found a couple of things that you need to move out of the way so you can get very clear on the things you want to do in your life. And the next question is, “Now what?”

Here are a few of suggestions:

  • Write down your reasons for leaving those things behind. Why do they no longer serve your life? Then write down how this “new thing” will enhance your life. Even if it is as simple as, “I want to read more books to help me reduce my stress”, making that statement in writing gives it “legs” in your life.

 

  • Okay so writing down your ideas is not your gig, then call on a good friend. Say out loud why you need to move one thing off your plate to add something you really want to be doing. Have your friend listen until you have pled your case because once you start that stream of consciousness you don’t want it interrupted. Then your friend can play “devil’s advocate”, listing pros and cons to your choices.

 

  • Sit with your decision and listen for that inner voice to give you guidance. When we shut down the external world (and that includes all technology) your inner guidance will speak. Getting closer to that voice again will make future decisions easier.

 

  • Make a plan! Maybe the thing you need to get out of your life involves other people so plan ahead on how you want to deliver the news. And don’t feel like you need to apologize but instead offer a simple explanation, “Things are changing in my life right now and I’m rearranging some things on my plate.”

 

  • And last but not least, sometimes you need help from someone completely out of your tribe. A neutral third party who doesn’t know you (or knows you a little) that can help guide you through the obstacles. This could be a mentor, business coach, counselor or someone else that can see the big picture. Go for it! Anything that can move you forward, clear that clutter and move you into the things you really want to be doing is well worth your time and effort.

These are just a few ways for you to change things in your life so you are truly making room for the things that bring you joy. Stop putting these beautiful things on the back burner because your soul is calling for you to make them a priority.

Let me hear from you in the comments, have you found another way to help you remove some clutter from your life? Remember sharing your wisdom may help someone else.

Peace and Love!

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This is a place where we learn to slow down, enjoy our lives as they are right now, and simplify through reconnecting with nature and the moon. Learn more on the About Me page.

Charities

These are charities that I believe are making a difference in our world. I welcome you to check them out and please donate if one speaks to you.

World Central KitchenWorld Central KitchenI believe that food, shelter and water are basic rights for every human on this planet. Jose’ Andres’ and his WCK group step in to provide beautiful, nutritious food during disasters, the pandemic, and any other opportunity where people need to be fed.Learn More Foothills Humane SocietyFoothills Humane SocietyThis is my local shelter, in Columbus, NC, doing a wonderful job at remaining as close to 100% no kill as possible. Animals make us more human and I believe in adopting not shopping for pets, saving a life with a new beginning.Learn More Trees, Water & People Trees, Water & People Caring for Mother Earth by planting trees, helping people live sustainably and decreasing our carbon footprint are things that I see as very important for the next seven generations.Learn More Lakota Law ProjectLakota Law ProjectI have a strong kinship to Native people and this group works to change many of the injustices done to the first people that still go on today, such as the right to vote.Learn More

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