“The thing about meditation is you become more and more you.”

~ David Lynch

For those of you that have been in this community awhile I have talked about my failed attempts at meditation and how my true form of it was on my tractor mowing my pastures. All of that changed this past month when I attended a meditation retreat and truly learned what I had been missing.

First you have to know that the big “lure” of this retreat was, (a) to get away with a good friend and have some girl time and (b) to get my continuing education credits for my licensure as a massage therapist. The rest was going to be some much needed R&R.

But what I received from the retreat far exceeded my expectations and allowed me to move into a deeper level of understanding of myself and my life.

A little backstory first; coming into this retreat I had just lost my Mom after 6 months in hospice care, spending my weekends with her so as I like to say I was still trying to “find my footing” again. My life up to this point had been my work and my Mom with everything else taking a backseat. That time was precious to me and I was blessed to have it right up to the time of her passing on from this world.

Coming from all of that I was going into this retreat still exhausted both mentally and physically which proved to be the best thing I could have done. All of my defenses were down so I was able to be open and ready for anything.

Arriving at the retreat center was an experience unto itself, the place was nestled in my mountains, the beautiful Blue Ridge with a breathtaking view every morning from the window of our room. And it was so quiet, the absence of  “city noises” along with the sounds of nature immediately brought you into a more peaceful space.

Walking everywhere, eating only vegetarian food, smiles and true southern hospitality put both of us into another world.

Then there were our amazing teachers, Sharon and Tracey, who quickly dispelled my thoughts of meditating one way….sitting cross legged, breathing deeply and emptying your mind. Don’t get me wrong we did a lot of just that but it was intermixed with movement meditation, walking meditation, coloring mandalas, drumming and chanting meditation that sent you on a magic journey and learning the art of deep listening.

What started to happen to me was an amazing transformation of seeing what was really important in my life, what needed to be given up and truly appreciating the gift my Mom had given me which was a new found freedom, the freedom to regain a different balance in my life.

That gift of freedom meant letting go of so much control which had been heightened in those 6 months with my Mom which I fought all weekend. The fear of just being instead of controlling was scary and intriguing at the same time.

Two things happened that changed it all for me, a mantra that came up while I was walking the labyrinth (“All is not lost”) and on a separate walking meditation feeling the presence of someone walking so close behind me I could hear footsteps crunching the gravel.

Letting go and dropping the control thing for me translated into a feeling of not being supported since I always needed to be “in charge.” The mantra and the presence during my walking meditation (which I know was my Mom) showed me was that I would have so much more support if I just showed up, trusted and let go.

 Now here I sit, 6 weeks out from the retreat, doing my 5 or 10 minutes of meditation every morning and working very hard at dropping all control.

What have I learned? That meditating just 5 minutes every day does make a wonderful difference in how I start my day and when I feel stressed the “control issue” comes flying back full force. And when it does I breathe deeply, forgive myself and move forward, knowing that once I recognize the triggers I will be able to let go even more.

And that is a very good feeling!

“A bodily disease, which we look upon as whole and entire within itself,

may after all be but a symptom of some ailment in the spiritual part.“

  ~Nathaniel Hawthorne, The Scarlet Letter 

The holidays are here and you are safeguarding your wellness routine. You continue to work out, eat healthier and keep doing “all the right things.”

We jump on the healthy bandwagon thinking we have all the bases covered, exercise for stress reduction and cleaning up our diet to eliminate the bad stuff. Things are moving in a positive direction and you think you are doing everything you need to do to feel better.

But are you? Are you feeling as good as you think you should considering all the changes you have made? 

There are two very important aspects of your new and improved lifestyle that you may have forgotten about, your mind and spirit/soul.

The mind, body and spirit make up a trilogy and represent a complete and whole person. Each aspect of this trilogy requires nurturing, strength training and regular engagement to be as healthy as it can be.

How many times have you heard someone say that a person they knew had done “all the right things” but still got sick. Our emotional needs, the needs of our soul/spirit are just as important as our physical body’s needs. In fact the longer you ignore one aspect of the mind, body, spirit connection the quicker chaos can wreak havoc on your life.

This is where adding a little “Zen” into your wellness routine can round things out and nurture your “whole” body.

Here are some simple suggestions:

• For your mind do something that takes away your normal mind “talk.”
• Everyone immediately thinks of meditation which is a wonderful tool but understand that meditation comes in many forms other than sitting on a cushion and being still. (which is fine too)
• A walk in nature, alone or with your favorite pooch can be very meditative.
• Losing yourself in a great work of fiction (no self help or business books allowed) can create a lot of great head space.
• Journaling can create that space too as long as you don’t edit what you write or worry about getting it all done correctly.
• Games like Sudoku, crossword puzzles, Scrabble (Words with Friends) or anything that challenges your mind, gets you totally involved in the moment are not only good for your focus but a great workout for your brain.
• For your soul do something that truly connects you to the joy of your soul, that feeds it on a deeper spiritual level.
• Sitting in nature.
• Connecting with people who feed that spiritual side of yourself.
• Attending a workshop or gathering that truly speaks to your soul.
• And sometimes just sitting still, being quiet and going within.

These are things that you may already know but have forgotten along the way. A little more “Zen” sprinkled into our lives is what keeps us well grounded and moves us along a healing, healthy path. Try lots of different things and keep the ones that truly speaks to the trilogy of your mind, body and spirit.

As always I love to hear your comments on our FB page and share the love of this post with someone in your life that might need some “Zen” in their wellness routine.

*** To help you along your wellness journey, I have a BIG announcement. ***

Starting in 2015 I will be hosting several workshops based on The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte. As a Desire Map Facilitator, I will be helping you find your “Goals with Soul”, which means living your life according to how you want to feel and setting those goals according to your “core desire feelings.” This work is deep, filled with lots of soul work and so worth it! So stay tuned right here and if you are not a part of our Zen Chick community, sign up below so you will get all the good stuff first!

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“When tea becomes ritual, it takes its place at the heart of our ability

to see greatness in small things.” ~ Muriel Barbery

I was listening to a podcast by Annika Martins. She was interviewing L’Erin (the force behind SisterFire) and I was struck by the realization of what was missing in my life. The answer to why I had been feeling such a void and disconnect deep in my soul.

Small everyday rituals.

I had let some of my small but very important everyday rituals fall by the wayside. These were the things that kept me grounded, soul connected and balanced.

So why had I left them behind if they were that important?

There isn’t a good reason except when life speeds up or we get hit with a crisis, survival mode kicks in and everything else gets pushed out of the way. We promise ourselves that when we get through this crisis or life slows down just a little we will add these little rituals back into our lives.

And the further we get away from them the more distant they become until, like me, you can’t figure out what’s missing in your life and why you feel so out of sorts and disconnected.

Small everyday or weekly rituals are the things that bring us comfort, ground us in the here and now and slow our lives down within the moment we are enjoying the ritual.

Rituals are everywhere if we look for them or we create them out of a need or longing in our lives.

For instance, Brenda, one of our Zen Chick community members, told me that when the Sunday Chat arrives in her inbox, she sits with her cup of tea, dog and cat by her side and reads our Chat. In her words, “It’s like an old friend has stopped by to share good conversation and tea on a lazy Sunday morning.” (thanks Brenda!)

Adding a small everyday ritual to your routine might be what’s missing in your life or it could be the one thing in the day to day hustle of your life that keeps you grounded and peaceful.

Try one of these rituals or create your own:

• Take a few extra moments to enjoy and savor your morning beverage (of course mine is coffee). Sit with it and truly taste it instead of gulping it down.
• Enjoy a daily walk with your favorite doggie. It doesn’t have to be a long walk but 10 minutes outside will clear your mind.
• Sit at the dinner table and enjoy your evening meal. Turn off the TV and turn on some quiet music.
• Spend 10 minutes daily doing yoga or some form of stretching.
• Write it down. If things were crazy in your day, clear your mind by putting it on paper and leaving it on the page. If it was a good day, write that down also, noting what went well.
• Block out 10-15 minutes before bedtime, to read, meditate or just relax. No TV or computers allowed during this time.
• And the most important ritual to do every day; do what connects you to the Divine, be it prayer, sitting in nature, meditation or just sitting quietly.

Life will speed up from time to time and yes, your rituals will find themselves tossed to the side but don’t let them stay away too long or like me, your soul will speak up and let you know what’s missing in your life.

Now it’s your turn to share, post one of your small everyday rituals that keeps you grounded and connected, on our Zen Chick Facebook page. Sharing these simple rituals with each other can help all of us handle the unexpected and the hurried when it arrives at our door.

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“Busy is a drug that a lot of people are addicted to” ~ Rob Bell

See if you can relate to any of these sayings;

•  “I’m so very busy”
• “I’m crazy busy”
• “Today is a busy day”
• “My life is just busy.” 

Sound familiar? 

Busy is a word that gets thrown around a lot and it is used for various reasons. Sometimes we are trying to deflect a project we just don’t want to do. Or a request for something that really doesn’t fit into our lives. Or it’s just a way of saying “Hey I’m important because I’m so freakin busy!”

The word busy can become a crutch, a catch all phrase that allows us to throw up a road block when we either don’t want to deal with something or our ego needs a little extra fuel.

I’m here to confess that I’m as guilty as anyone for using this word and it has served its purpose well. Recently though I got called out on the use of the busy word in a blog post from one of the bloggers I follow, Courtney Carver, and it made me rethink how and why I use this busy word.

I started to notice that sometimes it was an automatic response and before I knew it the word busy was out of my mouth. Then when I did catch it I had to think about the “truth” behind that busy word and face the real reason I was throwing it out there for someone else to catch.

Busy also showed me that I was using it for things that I should do instead of things I wanted or could do. For instance, I should be busy cleaning the house when what I really want to do is read a book or ride my horse.

After looking at the reasons I use the word busy, this quote about “Busy is a drug” really made me understand how it can be used as an escape or can keep you away from the things that you truly want to do in your life.

So let’s find some ways to help you be less busy and give space to the things that you truly want to do:

• There is a great saying about how you will be remembered in your lifetime and it’s not for how busy you were or how clean your house was but how well you lived your life and the way you treated others. Keep this little tidbit in mind when busy comes knocking.
• Become very aware of how you are using the word busy, are you trying to deflect something you really don’t want to do? If so, try another way of saying it like, “Right now that just doesn’t fit into my life but I appreciate the offer.“
• See if your busy is all about what you should do as in “I should be doing this but I really want to do that.” Ask yourself how important that should really is.
• Start organizing your time better. Take only one thing each day off your busy list and do it, spending all of your energy on that one item. Or don’t even have a list at all and when you start your day just say to yourself that this is the one thing I want to accomplish today. (the bonus here is when you dedicate yourself to one thing you will be surprised at what you really get done)
• Know your limitations! You don’t have to save the world in a day or a week and the word “No” is a positive word for you to start using more often.
• Make sure you always have time for YOU because when we do, do, do for everyone else and we leave ourselves out of the equation, the word busy becomes a very big part of our vocabulary. Give into some “me time” and what you give out to others will be an equal energy exchange.

Try a few of these suggestions and see if the word busy starts to leave your life a little more often. I would love to hear your comments over on the Zen Chick FB page, so come on over and tell us your thoughts on the use of the word busy.

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“Where does stuff go when it dies, does it go to stuff heaven?”~George Carlin

The cost I’m referring to is not the monetary value of the stuff you surround yourself with but how all of that stuff can cost you precious time and energy.

Intrigued? Let me show you what I have learned recently.

This little cost fact became very evident to me as I was packing up my office for my move into my new space. Although I had gotten rid of a great deal of my stuff in my last move I still found lots of stuff that I was holding onto for no good reason.

This stuff cost me time because I had to go through it as I was packing. Then it cost me energy when the moving crunch set in because I packed it up to deal with it later.

I did deal with it once I was in my new office but again it slowed down the process because it took both time and energy to sort and decide what to do with each item.

Spending a little extra time weeding through your stuff on a regular basis=less time being overwhelmed by a larger weeding project when you let things collect.

Along with my move into my new office, my hubby and I are in the midst of a remodeling project in our laundry room at home. What do you think we discovered there? Lots of stuff that needed to be moved to its proper location or needed to find a new home elsewhere.

And the really bright side to all of this was less stuff=less money for the project because it cut the cost of storage space we thought we had to have.

Which lead me to this realization:

As I’ve gotten older (that’s older and wiser, thank you!) is how much stuff  I would be leaving behind for my children to deal with and how I truly don’t want that for my kids. Having dealt with such situations in my lifetime I know what a heavy burden it is to leave for anyone you love.

For that reason and the fact that I’m truly enjoying less things in my life, I am trying to decrease as much stuff as possible. I’m giving things to my children ahead of time so I can share in their joy while I’m with them.

I’ve also found ways to combine some of my most precious things into something that has wonderful memories for me.

I did this recently with some jewelry combining my engagement ring with my grandmother’s diamond from her engagement ring to make a very unique ring that holds even more memories for me.

The best part of this combining memories was paying for the whole thing by cashing in the jewelry that I never wore.

Less stuff=making your own unique memories.

Letting go of stuff doesn’t mean you will lose the memory of something or someone because memories live on in your mind not in the physical thing. But letting go of some of your stuff means you have time to make more memories instead of being a slave to taking care of the stuff.

Less stuff=more time to do what you want to do with your life.

Do you want to be remembered for the stuff you had or the time you shared with the people you love while having a life you truly wanted to live?

Look around you and see what stuff you have that might give someone else joy or the ability to feel good about themselves. Start the process slowly and over time you will find ways to combine some of your most precious memories into something uniquely yours.

I would love to hear from you about how having a few less things has made your life a little better and how you combined some of your most precious things to make them extra special for you.

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