Zen Chick

Zen Chick

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"There is more to life than increasing its speed. Slow down, breathe and enjoy. "

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My “10 things for 2021” list and how I did.

By Gay Barefield Leave a Comment Dec 1

“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.”

As I look back to January of this year, I’m reflecting on “My 10 things for 2021”, which were things I wanted to do and stand for, in place of goals and intentions. Looking back, I see what things I want to carry into 2022, what needs to be tweaked, and how well I accomplished these things on my list. So I thought I would share my end-of-year ritual with you…..

Here’s my list:

#1 – To stand in my truth as much as I can, this means not giving into someone else’s truth, I can listen and learn but I don’t need to sacrifice my truth for theirs.

#2 – To get very clear on that truth, through my meditation and writing.

#3 – To do a better job of staying in touch with my friends, yes I do well, but I think the physical act of writing notes and letters is even better, including phone calls.

#4 – To make sure my health and well-being (both physical and mental) are a priority and to safeguard that above all else, fill my cup first so I can give later.

#5 – Be bold enough to put my dreams and ideas into action. I proved to myself in 2020 by finally painting that I can do it and I just need to do more.

#6 – Be as open as possible to change, which could mean a different career or something else. Big or small.

#7 – LET SHIT GO, quit worrying and chewing on things, the past is truly the past and it can’t be changed so why replay it.

#8 – Enjoy the moments with my hubby and our girls, live each day as it is the only one I will have.

#9 – ENJOY LIFE DAMMIT, it may not be perfect but live with no regrets of not living it fully.

#10 – Share the love!

So how did I do?

#1 & #2 – I feel I have done well in standing in my truth and listening to other truths. My daily meditation and writing practice have helped so much and are such a part of my well-being.

#3 – I still feel I want to write more notes and letters (written words are things that you can read again and again which is very important) Also, it means a lot that someone took the time to write to you!

#4 – Doing better because the anxiety I was feeling had lots to do with not using my time well (yep sounds a little crazy but doing things that didn’t deserve my time caused the anxiety – Thanks Marie Forleo and Time Genius!)

#5 – I’m a little behind the curve on this one, yes I’ve made some strides, like working with my horse again and teaching her a new technique, taking a month-long course, and completing it, but I feel there is more to do so will stay open to what comes my way.

#6 – This I got, change is ongoing and I always strive to be open to all possibilities.

#7 – Oh yes, another anxiety-induced issue that I have learned gets you nothing so I have been so much better at letting shit go!

#8 – Covid helped show me a lot about this but it is always a work in progress and something I always want to strive for improvement.

#9 – Once I realized what little things I was doing to myself and getting anxious over, that reality made my life so much more enjoyable that now I am living my best life, even when things go south.

#10 – We all want to be loved and I try very hard to tell my peeps that I love them on a regular basis. (this includes all people in my life because love grows in lots of ways)

As I look back on my list and now evaluate how well I have done, yes there may be a few things I may change or tweak a little but overall this list is very evergreen and I can see it becoming my “thing” to revisit every December. To me, these are lessons in living my best life, which is what we all strive for, isn’t it?

What about you, my friend, what will be your list for 2022? Remember not every list has to start at the beginning of a new year, it can start on your birthday year, or you could do a mini version every 6 months, either way, make it about how YOU want to live your best life!

Let me hear your thoughts or one item from your list in the comments. I love hearing from all of you!

Peace and Love!

 

Your Mama don’t need to give you permission.

By Gay Barefield Leave a Comment Jan 3

Hello, 2021!

We have all lived through the tough year of 2020, and we welcome the new year with open arms, pinning our dreams and hopes to it, making our lists, and checking them twice. Call those lists resolutions, intentions, goals, or whatever, you have set down some sort of promise to this new year and yourself.

For me, I did my list a little different, calling it My 10 things for 2021, which consists of how I want to truly live my life, how I want to show up in the world as the real version of me, and what I don’t want in my life now. Before making my new list of 10 things, I first had to settle my struggle with permission.

First, let me circle back to the fall of 2020, when I had the realization that I was waiting for someone (don’t know who) to grant me permission to paint again, something I had not done in 40+ years. I had all my supplies ready to go, I even had what I wanted to paint in my head but I could not get it on the canvas.

Yes, there was fear involved, the fear of not getting it right like someone would correct me and point out my mistakes, but I knew there was something much bigger.

I was waiting for permission to start.

From whom, I do not know but in my head, I was waiting for the “Okay, go ahead, you have my permission” before I could start.

Once I had that realization, here’s what I did, I put on some disco music (yep, Donna Summers, Bee Gees) and started painting, not caring if it was perfect or if I was ready, I just started. And what I had envisioned in my head came out on my canvas, maybe not perfect in someone else’s eyes but perfect in mine and that’s is all that matters. And I’m continuing to paint and enjoying it more and more.

Ask yourself this, is the reason the same dreams/projects/ideas keep showing up year after year on your New Year’s list is because you may be waiting for someone to tell you it’s okay to start? And waiting for the “right” moment, time, or full moon eclipse to start is the exact same thing as waiting for permission.

What one thing will you take from your list and put into action in this new year, even before you feel ready? I’m granting you permission to bring more of YOU to the world and I hope you do!

Here’s to all of us, my wonderful tribe, to starting before we are ready!

 

 

Image by PicsbyFran from Pixabay

Eat your cake first, shake up your reward system

By Gay Barefield Leave a Comment Jan 20

“Joy is the ultimate reward in life.”
― Sunday Adelaja

January is almost gone and with the month ending, reflection begins on the New Year’s resolutions, intentions or goals. Am I still doing what I set out to do or do I need to look for ways to keep the momentum going?

Just like the quote says, “Joy is the ultimate reward in life”, so when the resolve starts wavering the joy gets lost. Would more time or a different way to do things help?

Here are my thoughts…….

Knowing there was a reward waiting for me when I finished an extra workout, write an extra blog post, clean out a drawer/closet, would help my momentum but not necessarily my joy.

So I decided to switch it up and get the reward first……you know the saying “Eat dessert first.”

For me, I have found if I rewarded myself first, “I’m going to take a walk with the dogs and then I will sit with my project for the next 30 minutes,” my 30 minutes would last longer before my attention span hollered for the next reward/break.

Now I know for some this may seem like a bad idea, you may wander down a rabbit hole and never get your work done, which may be true unless you set a time limit for your reward too.

And that’s the key, your reward has to be on a time limit to balance out the benefit of reward first then work.

Tiny steps will move you forward in both reward and work balance, giving you the ability to get more done without feeling like you have to put your nose to the grindstone before you get to take the reward break.

Give it a try, switch up your reward system and see if there is more “joy” in your life, the joy in knowing that your New Year’s resolutions will survive in the long run.

 

Tiny Action Steps = The Wake-Up Call For Your Life

By Gay Barefield Leave a Comment Feb 23

“Baby steps count, too, as long as you’re moving forward.”

~Chris Gardner

I have been struggling with something, and maybe you can relate. A couple of years ago, I declared lots of white space in my calendar after hitting the wall, HARD, and burning down and out. 

Last year, I still set no goals or agendas, letting things free flow and waiting for something to drop from the sky: a project, an agenda, a reason to focus and work. 

Nothing! 

Okay I thought, I will still allow white space and time, letting the Universe tell me what I need to do.

Still Nothing!

Let me stop right here and say, I’m not a proponent for busy just to say I’m busy because creativity and ideas do need white space and time for things to take form. But what I have discovered this new year, is you need to take action in the form of movement for the Universe (aka Muse) to take you seriously. 

Baby steps to let the Universe know that you are ready to move forward, that you are welcoming what it may bring your way and you are ready to receive. 

During my morning meditation the message I received from my Sacred Path cards, was Warbonnet, which means Advance. Here’s one of the questions from the card’s description:

“Am I willing to be a pathfinder and to explore the possibilities of my future creations by boldly taking action now?”

Small steps, revisiting some creative ideas, tweaking some projects, setting a simple agenda to start working on some of these things I’ve started dusting off. Showing the Universe that I am here and I’m ready once again.

So I ask of you, “Are you ready to take that action, to move forward with baby steps, and explore your future creations?”

I hope you will join me in not being busy for the sake of doing something but moving toward that project, idea or thought that keeps dogging you. See if it is worthy of your time and energy or if there is something beyond that old idea that needs more of your attention. 

2019 is our year of putting things out in the world that the world needs. That “need” is YOU, your ideas, energy and how you show up for others.

Peace, Love and Tiny Steps!

P.S. I was interviewed Monday by a local writer, here is the article.

If you are on FB, you can find it here. Feel free to share and show this writer some love by following. Thanks!

Kick Off 2019 By Giving Us The Real You!

By Gay Barefield Leave a Comment Jan 1

“Be yourself–not your idea of what you think somebody else’s idea of yourself should be.” –Henry David Thoreau

The start of a new year means a “do over” for most of us, a fresh start, kick the old year out of our lives and welcome the new one with open arms. Yay, you made it!

Now comes the question, “resolutions, goals, intentions, or what?” Let me answer this one for you, how about showing up every day as the REAL you? The true one, the authentic person that I want to see. That the world needs right now.

A little scary, yep.

Easy?

Hell no, it’s a journey that requires you to step up, step away, run away, worry, fear, judge yourself, judge others, exhaust yourself and then surrender.

But you surrender to who you really are and how that makes you feel.

Ask yourself these two questions when you feel yourself running for the safety of agreement with someone or something;

“Is this how I really want to present myself to the world?”

“Does my soul feel happy with this choice?”

That’s how you start showing up as the real you by looking at your choices, your answers and how you judge someone or something and deciding if it rings true to YOUR values and beliefs.

So start this year by standing in your truth and make your beautiful mark on the world. I’m standing right beside you holding your hand and encouraging you onward. And I promise, your year will be better for it!

Peace and Love,

Zen Chick

 

My Independence Day – One Year Later

By Gay Barefield Leave a Comment Jul 22

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” ~ Mary Oliver

(disclaimer: this article is not intended to “shame” anyone who is still on FB or Twitter, it is about my journey and what I have learned this past year.)

My Independence Day is actually on July 19th, 2017, when I declared my independence from Facebook and Twitter by deactivating both accounts. As I celebrate my one year anniversary, I want to share with you what I have learned.

Let me begin by being completely honest, I still have an Instagram account that I visit maybe every 4 or 5 days, sometimes less frequently, so I do have a social media connection, but Facebook was my biggest addiction, with Twitter jumping in from time to time.

One year later and yes I documented the day to see how long I could go without the lure of FB and Twitter, life continues to go on, the world is still turning, and my ability to connect is stronger than ever!

What???? You can connect without social media (yes you know this already but let me remind you)

I have had lunches, dinners, and coffees, catching up with people who I have not seen in years by reaching out with emails, calls or letters and been more “social” in the last year since ditching social media than ever before.

I am doing more reading and writing, even starting a series here on Zen Chick called Spirit Moon Notes, delivered before the new and full moon of each month. Each note, explains the energy associated with those moon phases and gives a journal prompt to help you process that energy.

My creativity and intuition are better because I have more time for them both and I can listen more closely to them. I’m more connected with nature and the natural rhythms of life.

Now, before you think that its all been rainbows and unicorns, it has not, the first week, I got itchy, wanting something to distract me, like social media. There are still times when I get my addiction other ways, like the news feed app, which I recently deleted from my phone and iPad. And I do catch myself reaching for Instagram too often at times so again; I deleted the app.

My “monkey mind” is a busy little thing and I have to direct that cute little monkey to things that are worthy of my attention. It’s a process, and as long as I have a phone, iPad, and computer, the temptation will always be there.

But the difference I see in my life right now and the fact that I don’t miss FB or Twitter, keeps me moving forward with my “independence.” And for me, that feels good.

Let me hear from you in the comments; is there something in your life (not necessarily social media) that you have let go of that has given you a new sense of freedom or independence?

Sharing is caring, so please share because we all learn from each other.

Peace and Love!

 

 

Trending Now: Simplicity

By Gay Barefield Leave a Comment Apr 23

“It is not a daily increase, but a daily decrease.

Hack away at the inessentials.” ~ Bruce Lee

There’s a new trend happening on the internet, and it’s been catching on like wildfire. It’s called, “Simplicity” and it’s making a come back in the digital world.

At the beginning of 2018, there was chatter among some of the well-known bloggers/writers that I follow, saying they wanted to take their businesses back down to a more simple format, less tech, less social media, more service to the people on their lists. Less fuss, more time for themselves and more service to the people that follow them.

Tear it down, rebuild the empire and take it back to old school “simple.”

With the more recent news of data breaches on Facebook and other social media outlets, even more, bloggers/writers/online businesses are ditching their social media accounts, going back to basics, only serving their tribes and feeling good about knowing people will find them without all of the “social fluff.”

Can I say I love all of this!

I ditched Facebook 9 months ago, along with Twitter and now only have an Instagram account that doesn’t see a lot of activity. Have I missed being less connected through social media? The answer is a resounding “No!”

What has happened to me personally, without social media, is more of a desire to connect face to face with friends and family, to teach more workshops and to share more through my writing. I don’t worry about the number of subscribers or people finding out about my workshops; I’m of the belief that people will find you when they need what you have to offer.

To some this may sound lame or a wrong business model, but it gives me the ability to change, tweak and take my time building what I want to develop without worrying about posting on FB, tweeting it out on Twitter or keeping track of  “likes” and tags.

Simplicity is where Zen Chick started, and that is where I will stay, making my life and hopefully yours a little more simple with my words and suggestions.

So ditch social media? That choice is yours, and I’m not here to make you feel guilty, but ask yourself how much simpler your life might be if you have a little more of your time back? Try a short sabbatical from social media and see how that feels, if it feels good then go a bit longer.

Connect with your friends, face to face more often, make dinner plans, go for coffee, get with your tribe. We are all herd animals, we need our peeps, and we need to connect on a physical level. Having a little more time in your life can make that possible.

Now, let me hear from you, how else could you simplify your life, what is one other little change you could make to add more time and less stress? Sharing is caring, and we all need to learn from each other so please share in the comments and share this post with someone in your life.

Peace and Love,

Gay ~ Zen Chick

 

Shifting My Thoughts, Changing My Year

By Gay Barefield Leave a Comment Feb 10

Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world,

Today I am wise, so I’m changing myself.

When 2018 started, I was completely determined to make it MY YEAR! I turn 60 this year and with the beginning of each new decade of my life, I like to start it off with a bang! Some dramatic change that adds simplicity and peels away all of the layers of living that I have accumulated. (you can only carry around so much emotional baggage!)

So this year I was determined to stay focused on the positive, every day, regardless of what else is going on in my world or the world as a whole. I set a few intentions for this year, one was to continue to maintain my daily meditation practice, listen to my intuition more and let go of worry, doubt and overwhelm.

In the last two weeks, the Universe decided to put the shift in my thinking to the test, delivering me a series “what else could go wrong?” antics. What I found when I shifted and focused on as much positive as I could, was angels disguised as humans.

Angels who helped me navigate my situation, no questions asked. Who remained calm and kept my problem in their sights and worked with me. Angels who, when I became frustrated, empathized and once again remained calm. And even a “coffee angel” who gave me a much-needed cup of that wonderful brew. (most of you know how I feel about my coffee LOL)

As I write this and look back on these last two weeks, I see and appreciate the blessings that these angels gave to me and how even in the face of lots of frustration and stress, focusing on the positive made things easier.

I know this year will be filled with more of these challenges, I fully expect it because life is a bumpy, rough journey with smooth edges thrown in to temper the path. But knowing that my journey now is the beginning of a new decade, I’m more determined to make more smooth edges and smile often over the rough parts.

How about you? Can you join me in this new way of thinking and together we can be wise enough to change ourselves? What a beautiful impact we could make on the whole world.

Leave a comment and tell me what shifts you have made in your thinking. And please share this post with a friend.

Peace and Love!

How Will You Shape Your 2018?

By Gay Barefield Leave a Comment Dec 25

“You will always belong anywhere you show up as yourself and talk about yourself and your work in a real way.”
― Brené Brown, Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone

I don’t know about all of you but 2018 can’t get here fast enough! 2017 has been an emotional roller coaster with the political front, the news front, personal front and everything in between. Whew!

I want to open your mind to a different way of shaping your life as you move into 2018. Astrologically speaking, according to Jennifer Racioppi, this year will be about moving in the direction of your soul as Saturn animates your life lessons. Sounds a little deep but now is the time that the world needs the real you to step forward.

For me, this brings up a lot of questions about choices versus obligations and living more authentically as my true self.

Let me clarify about choices versus obligations, from my last post about my adult kids, where they made a conscious choice to take an emotional timeout for the holidays, obligation did not come into play which was a wonderful thing. They changed what would be an obligation to a choice.

Now before you start ticking off your “obligations,” and yes we all have some that we have to do, ask yourself could some of them change into “choices?” For 2018, ask yourself first, “Could this obligation be a choice instead?” and if the answer is yes, then you get to decide whether it will fit into your new life.

Now, let’s look at living and showing up as authentically as you possibly can in 2018. We all wear “masks” in our lives, the faces we show certain people or use in specific situations. What if we slowly started revealing our true selves in all situations, basing our “choices” on what our authentic selves would want to do instead of how it would fit the “mask.”

“You are only free when you realize you belong no place—you belong every place—no place at all. The price is high. The reward is great.”-Maya Angelou

When you start to live authentically, you will feel that you belong no place which can be very lonely at first. Then slowly and trust me this is a s-l-o-w process which may not even be completed in quite a few years, you will realize that yes the price is high, people won’t like the new you but in the end the reward is great! Living a truly authentic life, freeing the chains that may have bound you could not be a better way to start 2018.

To start this journey, ask yourself, what roadblocks stand in my way for me to make more choices instead of obligations and for me to live my life as authentically as possible? Write them down and be as honest as you can.

Then with the arrival of the Full Moon on January 1st, 2018, it is the perfect time to let go (burn or tear up your list) of what is standing in your way, what you don’t need in your life anymore and what your true intentions are for this beautiful New Year.

I wish you the best for 2018 and together we will slay some demons and create a space for all of us to live our lives authentically. Please share with someone in your life that needs to reshape their 2018.

Peace and love

The Holidays-What Does An Emotional Time Out Look Like?

By Gay Barefield Leave a Comment Nov 19

The holidays usually invoke these emotions, dread, joy or both. You dread the family member you have to spend time with and joy comes from spending time together. It’s an oxymoron, right?

Not really when we think about all of the other emotions that get stirred up during this time of year. We may love the decorating, baking and all of the fun stuff but dread those people that we may only see once or twice a year that we have nothing in common with, or have an issue with, or in my case, the kids that have declared an “emotional time out.”

For me, at first when dealing with the declaration of an “emotional time out”, there’s disappointment, anger, and a little guilt but after I stepped back and viewed the situation with a clearer perspective what I came away with is relief! That may sound horrible to some but why put yourself through a situation that is filled with tension, hostility, and people that don’t want to be in your company?

Is that really what the holidays are all about or what society has made us believe we “should” do?

I’m not trying to be a “Debbie Downer” but let’s look at this a little deeper, who really says that you can’t take an emotional time out during the holidays? Where is there a law written that says, the cousin, sister-in-law or kid you have an issue with has to come to your house? Or you have to go there? Or in my case that I have to spend time with kids that have issues with me?

Yes, I know there are repercussions from other members of your family but what is your sanity worth? A lot I hope! And who has to live with your decisions but you in the end and you may walk away with a greater sense of self-esteem and boundaries.

So back to my personal situation, which did spark this post, for one of my kids, it has lead us to an amazing dialogue about how we got to this point and my other kid, well I’m still waiting but that’s okay, I would rather take this emotional break than to look back on these holidays as the holidays from hell. That may not work for you but peace and good vibes are very important to me right now.

Does all of this make me a little sad? It did in the beginning and it may for you too if you decide to take that time out but what may be gained is hidden treasures of awakening, boundaries and possibly an amazing dialogue.

Now I would love to hear from you dear readers, would an emotional time out be something you would be willing to risk? If not, why?

Sharing is caring, so share with someone in your tribe that might need to hear this too.

Peace, love and happy amazing holidays!

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