Zen Chick

Zen Chick

Slow down. Simplify. Love your life.

"There is more to life than increasing its speed. Slow down, breathe and enjoy. "

It’s Spring! Time To “Dust” Your Life

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“Ask yourself if what you are doing today is getting you closer to where you want to be tomorrow” ~unknown

Here in the South spring is in the air. Warmer days, nights still cool, more daylight and the call to plant, clean and clear clutter has a strong draw on all of us. Putting your hands in the cool earth to plant, taking a box of stuff to Goodwill or just sitting in the sunshine, lifts your heart and makes your life feel a little lighter.

Have you ever thought about clearing, cleaning and planting your life on the inside while doing all of the physical stuff on the outside?

As you leave Fall and Winter behind, which are months of introspect and taking stock of the past year, Spring presents us with the opportunity to open ourselves up to new ideas, get rid of the stagnant stuff that has us weighted down and decide how to shape the year ahead.

“To get clear on where you want to go, you have to move clutter off the path.”

Just as I have learned, if you keep piling stuff on, the voice you need to hear (the one that speaks your truth) can’t get through all of the crap in the way. The idea you thought was a good one gets left behind because the confirmation you were looking for got tired of talking over top of the clutter piled up in its way.

It’s simple really, think about the things in your life right now that are truly clutter. The things that bog you down because they don’t serve you any more or you are afraid to stop doing them. Or the little things that occupy your mind so you can stay just “busy” enough not to explore that idea you had.

If you dumped some or at least one of those things, what kind of difference would it make in your life?

I’m going to make a guess that after reading that question you immediately knew the one thing to get rid of to make room for the things you really want to do that would bring much more joy to your life.

And Spring is all about the joy of starting anew, planting seeds and growing ideas. So grab that mental feather duster and start clearing the dust off of your life. Slow and steady a little bit at a time and soon your path will be clutter free.

Happy Spring Cleaning!

 

 

Why I Gave Up Goals for 2017.

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“Make an empty space in any corner of your mind, and creativity will instantly fill it.”

~Dee Hock

It all started around the end of October 2016 when I hit the wall. My mind and my body finally said “ENOUGH” and I was forced to listen. I was done, fried, nothing was fun and everything I did was like walking through mud, slow, slogging and never getting anywhere.

I had decisions to make, was I going to stop forward progress on a dream that I had been working on or leave this dream alone and give myself the space I needed? Or was I going to push on the way I had been going?

After much back in forth in my brain and a long talk with my hubby (who already knew the answer I needed), I stepped away not promising to come back to my dream but knowing that both of us (me and my dream) needed space.

One thing that I had to do was make a promise to myself that I would not give in to any new projects because I knew what was ahead…..my brain gets “twitchy”, as I call it, always looking for something to latch onto, to work on, to feel productive.

But not this time because I felt that I needed freedom from everything, time to have open white space in my life.

I would be lying if I didn’t say the first few weeks were very hard. I would see something in my inbox, on the internet or listen to one of my clients talk about a new project they were doing and my brain would look like Jack Russell Terrier jumping up and down, saying “Let’s go, let’s go, we can dooooo this….!”

I managed to get past this (thankfully-whew!) and what happened next was surprising, my creativity reappeared, I could write again, things flowed easier and I could BREATHE! I was reconnecting with friends, making time for all of the things I had put on hold.

So as the New Year approached, I had to once again do some soul searching. I have always set goals/resolutions for each New Year, it’s what motivates me and keeps me focused.

Coming off of what I had been through though I knew how easily I could fall back into some of the same bad patterns and truthfully I was enjoying this open space I had created.

And once again words of wisdom from my sweet husband when I asked his opinion on the subject of ditching goals, “I think it would be good for you to do it.” Wow, even he had noticed the difference in me.

So this year, 2017, I’m “goal-less”, letting lots of white space surround me, continuing my promise of no new projects and allowing the rhythm of my life to carry me along.

And my dream has found me again, showing me a different direction, no pressure just gentle pushes to move me along. Lots of open space!

Who Am I?

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(Spoiler alert-yes this is about the election but not who won or didn’t, so please read on)

Like a lot of you, I watched part of the elections returns, sitting in awe as I listened to the calls of what state went to whom. My state (NC) very much a battleground state was too close to call as were many and what kept catching my attention was not the closeness of the poll numbers but the segregation of the votes themselves.

As I listened to the African American vote, the Latino vote, the White educated male, the White educated female then I heard the White uneducated male and female. WHAT? And then they started breaking down the rural, urban and city vote. Okay I can understand that one but the education one really pissed me off.

We live in a country right now that is trying to heal its wounds, work on the division that has been long standing and shore up for what is to come. Why do we need to add more divisions in our thinking?

So who am I? 

I fit the “white, uneducated (without a college degree) rural female” category so does that mean I’m less informed, unable to understand all I need to know about selecting our next President? Or does that make my vote less worthy?

I have my own business (24 years and counting), have worked in upper management in corporate America, was a teen Mom, was a single Mom raising my two girls, live on a farm now (22 years and counting) and love this country I live in.

Why do I need to be one more group to be divided and counted?

I long to hear the pollsters say, “The majority of the vote was made by Americans.”  It has such a resounding ring to it, all inclusive and to the point. Maybe after such a disappointing run for those pollsters, they might consider doing just that. (not likely but it sounds good.)

So please, I beg of all of you for the sake of coming together, for the sake of building an America we all want (even if we are uncomfortable in our new direction) let’s stop breaking down our demographics, look at your neighbor and know that your common thread is that you are both Americans.

Please share this post with anyone in your corner of America that needs to be reminded, we are all the same….. Americans!

Peace and Love to you all. 

There Is Always LOVE!

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“Love casts out fear” ~ Dorothy Day

There is so much going on in our world right now, turn on the TV, internet or just turn on your phone and you are hit with a firestorm of negativity fueled by hate, dislike or unhappiness.

Where’s the LOVE?

It’s right here where it has always been, hidden behind walls, doors and hearts until it is asked to come out in public when something horrific happens. Then it is shared across all media like it’s a new bright and shiny thing we have yet to see.

REALLY?

Don’t get me wrong, I love seeing people coming together when things turn ugly, showing their love for whatever the reason or cause. I want to see more positive things on the news, social media and on my phone rather than all of the other negative stuff.

But what I don’t love is having to wait for a tragedy to happen to see all of those things in bright lights. Why can’t we see more of the love and less of the hate and fear?

Because love doesn’t sell in the media world, it doesn’t draw you into a vortex of tragedy. It doesn’t “play well” with politics or war or most news stories.

But we all need more of it, more compassion, more positive words. And it all starts with us, you and me.

We can feed the hate and negativity through our words and actions or we can send out LOVE with our words, energy and actions.

LOVE is always here, waiting, hoping for a chance to grow stronger, move mountains and change our lives and the world into a place where love lives full time. 

So send out some love right now to someone (that you might not even know) that is hurting. Give a hug to a friend or stranger that might need the support. Change your language to include more positive uplifting statements or declarations so that energy goes out in a good way.

Turn off the news, social media and your phone if you find yourself with your shoulders tight and your jaw clenched. Turn off the hate and fear.

Be brave, breathe deep and send out more LOVE.

P.S. And I LOVE all of you for spending your time here on Zen Chick!

Finding My Way Back To Meditation

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“The thing about meditation is you become more and more you.”

~ David Lynch

For those of you that have been in this community awhile I have talked about my failed attempts at meditation and how my true form of it was on my tractor mowing my pastures. All of that changed this past month when I attended a meditation retreat and truly learned what I had been missing.

First you have to know that the big “lure” of this retreat was, (a) to get away with a good friend and have some girl time and (b) to get my continuing education credits for my licensure as a massage therapist. The rest was going to be some much needed R&R.

But what I received from the retreat far exceeded my expectations and allowed me to move into a deeper level of understanding of myself and my life.

A little backstory first; coming into this retreat I had just lost my Mom after 6 months in hospice care, spending my weekends with her so as I like to say I was still trying to “find my footing” again. My life up to this point had been my work and my Mom with everything else taking a backseat. That time was precious to me and I was blessed to have it right up to the time of her passing on from this world.

Coming from all of that I was going into this retreat still exhausted both mentally and physically which proved to be the best thing I could have done. All of my defenses were down so I was able to be open and ready for anything.

Arriving at the retreat center was an experience unto itself, the place was nestled in my mountains, the beautiful Blue Ridge with a breathtaking view every morning from the window of our room. And it was so quiet, the absence of  “city noises” along with the sounds of nature immediately brought you into a more peaceful space.

Walking everywhere, eating only vegetarian food, smiles and true southern hospitality put both of us into another world.

Then there were our amazing teachers, Sharon and Tracey, who quickly dispelled my thoughts of meditating one way….sitting cross legged, breathing deeply and emptying your mind. Don’t get me wrong we did a lot of just that but it was intermixed with movement meditation, walking meditation, coloring mandalas, drumming and chanting meditation that sent you on a magic journey and learning the art of deep listening.

What started to happen to me was an amazing transformation of seeing what was really important in my life, what needed to be given up and truly appreciating the gift my Mom had given me which was a new found freedom, the freedom to regain a different balance in my life.

That gift of freedom meant letting go of so much control which had been heightened in those 6 months with my Mom which I fought all weekend. The fear of just being instead of controlling was scary and intriguing at the same time.

Two things happened that changed it all for me, a mantra that came up while I was walking the labyrinth (“All is not lost”) and on a separate walking meditation feeling the presence of someone walking so close behind me I could hear footsteps crunching the gravel.

Letting go and dropping the control thing for me translated into a feeling of not being supported since I always needed to be “in charge.” The mantra and the presence during my walking meditation (which I know was my Mom) showed me was that I would have so much more support if I just showed up, trusted and let go.

 Now here I sit, 6 weeks out from the retreat, doing my 5 or 10 minutes of meditation every morning and working very hard at dropping all control.

What have I learned? That meditating just 5 minutes every day does make a wonderful difference in how I start my day and when I feel stressed the “control issue” comes flying back full force. And when it does I breathe deeply, forgive myself and move forward, knowing that once I recognize the triggers I will be able to let go even more.

And that is a very good feeling!

   

Keeping A Sacred Space

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“Sacred space” is another way of saying “with intention.”
― S. Kelley Harrell

As I write this post there is snow on the ground, a full moon overhead and a hush in the air around my farm. The silence of snow is something I consider very sacred. Life has to slow down and all of nature respects the sacredness of the moment.

Moving that feeling of sacred into your everyday life keeps that feeling alive and keeps your soul grounded. The best way for me to do that is to have a space in my home for a personal altar. I also keep sacred objects in my car along with objects in my massage room where I work. This keeps the sacred everywhere in my day to day life.

Now before you get turned off because you are thinking this is woo-woo or too religious, stop right there! Hear me out before you completely close down this idea.

What and where you set up a sacred space is up to you, it can be on your desk at home or work, a small table in your home, the corner area of a room, a special area of your car, any place that can hold some items that are sacred to you.

If your sacred space is used for meditation then you may have a statue, candles, crystals, prayer beads and whatever else speaks to you when you meditate. If your space is smaller, like a corner of your desk, then it might be a special stone, feathers, or sacred beads. You chose what connects to your soul and helps keep you grounded.

In my car I always have small wind chimes and a tiny medicine pouch which are things that bring me a sense of protection and sacredness. On my desk sits a native pottery vase with different feathers that have come to me at different times in my life, a stone from a friend’s trip to her home town in the North and a #Truthbomb card, Medicine card or Sacred Path card that carries a lesson for my week. My massage room holds so many tiny sacred objects from different places and people there are too many to name.

The objects that reside on your altar can and will change from time to time so don’t think that once you place an object there it will always be there. Just as you grow and change on your journey so too will the objects that you connect with on that sacred soul level. Be open to any and all things.

Set your intentions, listen to your soul and create a sacred space just for you. Feeding your soul is as important for the nourishment of your health and well being as feeding your body.

Look around and find those items that speak to your soul, carve out an altar space in your home, office or car and embrace the connection of the sacred to your soul.

Your soul will thank you.

Keeping Your Goals Simple in 2016

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“The surest way to simplify your life is to focus on what matters most.”

~Truthbomb, Danielle LaPorte

A new year, a new start and it’s time to declare those goals, intentions, resolutions or whatever you may call them.

I love this part of a new year, I’ve got my Desire Map Weekly Planner primed, pen poised and thoughts ready to flow.

And then it happened, I got absolutely NOTHING! Not a goal I wanted to reach, intention I wanted to set or anything. I was completely stuck which is definitely not me.

So I took a deep breath, walked around the house a little and then a thought popped into my head. “Keep your intentions simple, only two words” is what I heard. No long winded declaration, no long laundry list of things to accomplish. Nope, three short two word intentions. Easy and to the point.

With these simple two word intentions I know that each month I can revise, review and start over with each one if the need arises. Usually once the goal/intention is set, we start to believe that it’s written in stone and it can’t be altered in anyway. This is where things start to break down for a lot of us, we set those intentions/goals at the beginning of a new year and by the end of January all of them are broken and it feels like everything is undone. So we throw in the towel and give up for the next 11 months.

By keeping things simple, two or three words with the understanding that each month as you evolve things will change then you don’t have to ditch your goals/intentions.

So for 2016, keep it short, simple and to the point. Big project? Then make that your only focus and adjust accordingly month to month. Got a bunch of stuff you want to accomplish? Again, par it down to 3 or 4 things using only 2 or 3 words. Get creative with it and feel okay if you mark through it or add to it later on.

Let go and be driven only by what feels right to you in the moment. See if keeping it simple for 2016 is a better fit for you and your goals.

Here’s to a clean slate of a year that we can write our story all over, again and again. Let’s celebrate together the simplicity of this coming year and this is where I’m going to start:

(1) Save More

(2) Go More

(3) Write More

(4) And let my Spirit fly! (this is a declaration for my 3 intentions)

Share the “love” of this post with someone in your life that needs more simplicity in 2016!

 

Sometimes You Need To Take A “Time Out”

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Time out. We think of it as a punishment for bad behavior in kids. Or as a break from the day to day grind.

But what if we used it in our lives as a way to step away from one aspect of our lives that may be creating a great deal of stress? That gives time out a whole different meaning.

You push, pull and bang your head against the wall over this one area of your life and it appears to get you nowhere. So you try a different approach, using head busting logic to will it to change. No luck there either.

“So now what?” you may ask. The answer, take a time out. (or a sabbatical, if that sounds better to your ears).

Whatever you call it, it should clue your mind into the notion of being put on notice…“We (you and your mind) are no longer thinking or acting on this one aspect of our life right now!”

There doesn’t that feel better all ready? Your shoulders drop down to a normal level, your jaw unclenches and your breathe begins to deepen.

This is where I am right now as I write this post, I have put one aspect of my life on notice and refuse to deal with it until I’m  good and ready.

Does that mean I’m in denial?

No, not at all. What it means is I’m tired of going over the same old stuff in my head and getting nowhere, so I’m taking a time out, a step back, a beautiful sabbatical from that aspect of my life.

I haven’t set a time limit because I trust that I will know when the time is right to come back, to gently step back into the edges of this aspect of my life with a new awareness.

And if I decide not to allow this back in my life then at least I stepped away long enough to make a good decision instead of one made in haste or anger.

I know I made this sound a little too easy and it’s not, it requires some patience (with yourself) and a willingness to let go of drama, expectations and lots of head chatter. And your time out may only require an afternoon, a day, a week or it might be like mine, a little longer.

Stop beating yourself up, instead step up and allow yourself the freedom to step away. You might be surprised at the changes you make when you are ready to step back in.

Share this post with a friend who may also need to take a “time out” in their lives. 

What’s Holding You Back?

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“A dream doesn’t die because it has no truth. It dies because you fail to nurture it.”
~Susie Clevenger

From a life you want to live.

A relationship you want to pursue.

A friendship you crave.

A dream you want to achieve.

A business you want to start.

A wound you need to heal.

A home that needs decluttering.

What’s really stopping you?

There’s a lot of emotions/reasons tied to each of these scenarios, some may be valid, others may not.

What’s the common denominator?

FEAR! (but you knew that already, didn’t you) Keep reading it gets better.

Fear in decluttering my home? Come on now, isn’t that stretching it?

Overwhelm may be the root cause of you not decluttering your home but fear also lends a hand. You may fear that you will “lose” the memories if you get rid of something or if you do start to let go of things, then what? What else will you be left to deal with in your life?

So fear can be a factor in that example but let’s stretch those emotional muscles just a little more and see the REAL common denominator in all of these scenarios. 

Can you guess what it is?

Fear is the “go to” emotion when it comes to what is holding you back but I want to take you into uncharted territory now.

Ready?

Nurturing is the REAL common denominator not fear. 

Want to live a life you love – nurture the desire for that life. Let it grow and fan the flame.

Want to have the relationship/partner/friend in your life – look around, reach out, find that person and nurture. We think if we want the partner or friend it should just happen, right? Nope, you have to cultivate and nurture it just like a garden for it to grow.

That dream you have or business you want to start – you have to nurture the seed of that thought and keep nurturing it, plucking fear out every time it rises up like a weed.

The wound you need to heal or the house you want to declutter – nurture yourself through the process. Baby steps are so much easier and less fearful than large leaps.

Surprised?

Fear is the reason we always reach for in these situations but when you turn it around and look at it through the eyes of nurturing it changes the whole thought process. It really puts the responsibility back on you by taking fear out of the equation.

Will fear still be around? Absolutely! But when it appears turn the fear thing around and approach from the nurturing side and see how different it looks.

Giving up because of fear is easy, working from a place of nurturing is working from your heart and soul.

Step out, nurture yourself and what you want in your life. I promise it will make a wonderful difference for you and everyone around you.

   

photo credit: tug via photopin (license)

Loving and Living My “New” Old Life!

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The biggest adventure you can take is to live the life of your dreams

~Oprah Winfrey

I celebrated my birthday a few weeks ago, 57 years on this wonderful Mother Earth, and decided to follow the advice of Dr. Christiane Northrup on celebrating birthdays;

“You celebrate everything that you’ve accomplished or that you’re proud of in the past year so that you have really a celebration of your worth and your increased competence,” she says. “That’s a cool thing.”

So instead of just celebrating another year older (which is really boring) I celebrated and reviewed all of the good stuff that happened during that year which included a major breakthrough.

It all started with a major move of my business to a downtown location (new to me) and the addition of another therapist to share the space. My work as a massage therapist which was already busy got even busier. (a good thing)

Became a Desire Map Facilitator so I could share this work I love with others. 

Farm life is always good and busy but for some reason a little busier. (or I’m slower…)

Personal life….okay this is where we get to the breakthrough.

Sometimes one small thing can create enough upheaval to cause you to question everything in your life and the reasons behind it. My small thing was a ongoing conversation with my adult children (start nodding your heads if you have adult kids) about communication, their lack, my overabundance. (keep nodding)

When I realized that my overabundance of communication was who I am and something that I could not change. This realization then caused the rest of “who am I and what do I want” to come tumbling down. I started picking apart every aspect of my life, piece by piece and you know what I discovered…….

That I was piling on so much stuff, trying to do it all I wasn’t truly enjoying my life.

BIG SURPRISE!

I was working so hard to do so many things, that the things I loved to do were suffering and I wasn’t enjoying them as much. Once I stripped away everything in my life and laid it all out, here’s what I saw.

I had already accomplished everything I ever wanted in my life. I started and have a successful business, I have a beautiful farm with the horses and animals I love and someone to share it with me.

So why was I working on so many projects that were taking my precious time away from the things I love?

For me, I love learning new things, this blog for instance and lots of other things. But I had lost the ability of balancing the new things I was bringing in WITH my life instead of stacking everything on top.

So now, I’m living my NEW old life with a new sense of appreciation, savoring each moment and relaxing into the beauty of it.

I’m still learning and doing new things because this is who I am also but I’m more conscience of how it will impact the life I love. 

How about you, are you stacking things on top of an already full life, never savoring the moments you have? If so, step back and see what’s really important and prioritize the things that mean the most.

Living and loving your “new” old life may be the awakening and change you need.