“Good is the enemy of great.” ~Jim Collins

There seemed to be a “missing piece” to my personal story in the original post called Is “Good” Enough?  My oldest daughter who is my blog critic and supporter, pointed out that I skipped the most important part of my story, how I figured out that I wanted to leave good behind and move to GREAT.

“Huh?” I said, “Do you really think the details are that important?”

“Absolutely” she said, “Even I don’t know that part of your story and it’s important to hear what led someone to the decision to change the direction of their life.

”So here we are at Part 2, finishing my story of what made me walk away from good to get to great……

I was loading the dishwasher one morning, exhausted and stressed out, thinking that I was headed for the heart attack or the big C because of that stress, knowing that I wanted so much more from my life. I wanted something to be passionate about, something that would speak to my soul and if I was going to work this hard then it was going to be for me, not a corporation.

I wanted to help people and bodywork came to mind in the form of chiropractic. I knew this would be a long road, probably 6 years to complete but I wanted it and was willing to make it happen. I knew that I had to continue working my full time job but with the support of my husband and kids, I knew I could do this.

I was off to the races pursuing my new venture with passion, going to school at night and working during the day. Even though it sounds even more exhausting and stressful, I found that when I hit the classroom at night after a long day, I was rejuvenated and eager to get going again.

I finished one semester and started into my second when *BAM* the Universe decided to throw down a roadblock in the form of a promotion. Now some people would think, “Okay so I’m not meant to do this and now I have an even better job with more money. It’s just not meant to be.”

Not me, I was pissed and I mean pissed in a big way. I’m shaking my fist at the Universe saying “How dare you take this away from me, this is what I want to do and I know that I can make a difference.” The Universe, of course, didn’t say a word which made me even madder.

About a month into my mad spell I was still questioning “the why” with no answers when a good friend of mine introduced me to one of her friends who was a massage therapist and had started a massage school. She started asking me if I had thought about becoming a therapist. “No” I said, “I was starting chiropractic school but had to stop due to my promotion.”

“Think about it” she said.

I did, opening up my mind to new possibilities and when the light bulb finally came on in my pissed off head, I realized that I had just been blessed with a little Divine intervention. The Universe had spoken to me through that roadblock allowing me to find my great instead of settling for good. 21 years later I’ve never regretted leaving behind good because great has lead me to a much more satisfying and happy life.

And that’s “the rest of the story” (love Paul Harvey) and I hope that a little insight into my life helps you understand how great may show up in yours.  Great, in my opinion, can be small steps or giant leaps but it all starts with the one thing that speaks true to your heart and soul.

I would love to hear your comments and your story of moving from good to great, so jump on down to the comment section below and share the love with all of us. Also share the love of this post with someone in your life who would like to move from good to great.

 

* If you need help finding that good to great pathway or a different path in another area of your life, check out the Work with Me page. The Living Room Sessions are the newest addition to the page. Working with you and a group of your girlfriends (or guy friends) in your living room or mine, really digging down to get all of you on the path to truly loving and really living your lives. Connect with me and let’s get started. 

 

 

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“For, in the end, it is impossible to have a great life unless it is a meaningful life. And it is very difficult to have a meaningful life without meaningful work.” ~ Jim Collins, Good to Great

Don’t get me wrong, I like “good” as in good friends, good food, good conversation and so on. Good is not bad, it’s well… good but what happens when good is replaced with great?

A whole new world of possibilities opens up and you are presented with GOOD on steroids! 

For me good to great went like this; I had a corporate job, making good money with good benefits and had worked very hard to move up the corporate ladder. As a woman I was making a top salary and had moved into a management position as the only female on the management team. All of this without a college degree.

I was living the American dream, secure corporate job, had recently remarried and was raising two kids. Things were good.

One morning though all of that changed when I realized that good wasn’t good enough for me anymore. I was ready to work hard for my dream of owning my own business and good had to move out of the way for GREAT to enter. So I left behind the security of the good job to pursue great and never looked back. Scary. Yes it was but with an overwhelming sense of this is where my life needed to be going.

When you decide to move from good to something great, the people close to you will not see your change as a good thing. They will think you are crazy for giving up that really secure job, relationship or opportunity that was good for something they can’t even envision as great.

This is where you have to remember it’s not their “great” it’s yours. Smile and keep moving toward great.

Great takes work and making that move toward it isn’t for everyone, sometimes good is where you need to be. But if the tug of something better and greater keeps nagging at you, are you going to walk away?

What I saw in my decision was the dream of owning my own business, helping people through my massage work and working very hard for myself and my dreams, not someone else. And 21 years later that is exactly what I have done and continue to do, loving each great moment.

But does it stop there? Nope because once you move from good to great, things keep happening that challenge you to keep moving into greatness. Once you are there you won’t look back, I promise!

Each journey from good to great is personal, unique and a choice. No one says that you have to quit your job and start your own business, good to great may be as simple as:

• Making serious changes to your eating habits and working with a nutritionist.
• Taking your exercise to the next level by hiring a personal trainer.
• Stop the “I’ll do that (write, take an art class, etc.) when I have time” and just do it!
• Show up for the time you set aside for yourself every day and honor it as if you were giving that time to someone you love. (you are that someone)
• Decide what and who really needs to be in your life and start setting better boundaries.

Great has big rewards along with the work even in the simple things in our lives. Are you ready to move from good to great in one area of your life? Even when Resistance comes knocking? I would love to hear your comments in the comment section, on what area of your life you are ready to move to greatness and what will be your first step? Share the love of this post with someone who would also like to move into great and be each other’s support system. Your life is calling!

 

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“The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people.” ~ Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture

You have found it, your dream, your passion and now you are in high gear to pursue it. You are off to the races making strides, moving forward all the way and suddenly….

BAM!

You just hit the WALL, that solid surface that slams you hard and begs the question, “Why are you doing this?” or “Are you sure this is the right thing?” To which you will probably answer with a shrug of the shoulders, scratching your head saying “I truly don’t know.”

Ah, but you do know and this is just your first test to see if the path you are on is the right one.

Welcome to the journey, it’s going to be a great one!

I have a theory about the wall based on the fact that I too have hit it numerous times. There are usually two things that happen when you hit the wall, it is either temporary or it becomes a more permanent fixture that you can’t navigate around.

What does this mean? 

In the quote above, Randy says it beautifully, “The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something.” In other words when the wall is temporary it’s asking you “how bad do you really want this?” When your answer finally comes which will take some serious soul searching (and ice cream) then it comes with a resounding “Hell yes, I know I’m on the right path and I’m willing to do the work.” The wall will then disappear.

If there are more questions than answers and you are not getting that “hell yeah” clarity then the wall is there to help you find other directions or different ideas that would not have been brought to light without this intervention. This doesn’t mean not to pursue your dream, it just means that you need to look at all of the options.

Many times this is where people give up, throw their hands up in surrender and walk away. But the ones that keep their eyes focused on the dream, that don’t get discouraged and know that there is a path out there waiting to be taken are the ones that will defy the odds.

Don’t you want to be one of those people who will move past the wall?

Often we have a “pre-packaged” notion of how our dreams or passions should unfold, neat and tidy, ready for us to open and consume. When the wall makes us look beyond that notion and we do the work then the reward is moving to the next level of your dream.

The message to take away here is this; “Don’t let the wall stop you, know that it can be temporary or a detour sign pointing to a better way. Push on and defy the odds.”

 You have a purpose to fulfill and a life to live to it fullest. Do the work, stop listening to the naysayers and move Resistance to another state.

I would love to hear from you in the comments section below about how you have handled hitting the wall and how your life has been different since you got past it. Share the love of this post with someone you know that may be trying to get past the wall in pursuit of their dreams!

 

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Do not wait until the conditions are perfect to begin. Beginning makes the conditions perfect. -Alan Cohen

One year ago today I wrote my first blog post which launched the Zen Chick website. For me it was a huge beginning, venturing into  completely uncharted territory and one year later I’m so glad I did. It has had its ups and downs but one of the best parts is YOU my wonderful community. So a big hug and thank you for joining me on this journey!

I can’t say this enough and you may get tired of me saying it but 2013 is going to be the type of year that will move all of us into different places in our lives. Good places and yes there will be struggles but those struggles will help move you in the direction you want to go.

If you have read our latest Sunday Chat, I hope you are moving toward your dreams, the life you love and choosing to let go of the things and people in your life that don’t serve your purpose. Small steps get you just as far sometimes as large ones so start small but please do START!

To help you along your journey, I’m launching my workshop, “The Art of Defining Your Boundaries ~ A Journey of Self Reflection” at the end of this month. I want to help you define your boundaries, get rid of the obstacles that stand between you and your dream life and help you move into a life you want, not the one you settle for.

This workshop will be taught “live” at my office in Spartanburg, SC and for those of you that can’t make it to Spartanburg but want to participate in the live event can host a workshop. When you host a workshop you receive the workshop free of charge. Look for dates and all of the details on this website soon.

I hope that all of you spend a little time on yourself, plotting your course for 2013, journaling your thoughts and dreams, and using your energy to move you toward your goals. Remember, small steps will move you to bigger and better things.

Leave a comment and let me know where you want your life to go in 2013 or one or two things you would really like to change to move you toward the life you love! I love hearing from all of you.

“For the love of life, let go of the idea that there’s not enough time. You are the source of time in your life.“~Danielle LaPorte

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No, this is not about the election results, this is about YOUR life! 

We have all been there, “Mad as hell and we are not going to take it anymore!”

Frustrated, confused and feeling like you are stuck at the end of a very dead end road. Whether it’s your job, a relationship, a financial situation or your life, when you get to that boiling point is when you can make some of your biggest changes.

Negativity can lead to a positive outcome if you use it to move you forward.

Like a hamster on a wheel it takes a while to get to the “mad as hell” point. You have been pushed, pulled or held at emotional gun point to get here and once here you don’t want to lose that momentum. This is the fire that burns in your belly and moves you out of what’s comfortable to something new and truly wonderful.

How did you get to this point? 

The job, relationship, financial situation or stagnant phase of your life that has created the “mad as hell” reaction comes from you losing or blurring the lines of your boundaries.

And what are your “boundaries?”

Your boundaries are your sacred personal space, the line you draw in the sand, the thing that you refuse to compromise on and  your self respect. Boundaries are not about being rude, victimized or aloof. When I’m talking about boundaries issues I’m talking about things that you do to compromise yourself, your self respect and your overall well being.

When you repeatedly step over that boundary line then the “mad as hell” fight begins. 

So how do you change this?

First overcome your fear that accompanies any kind of change. Decide how you want to change the situation and where your “boundary weakness” is within that situation.

Change could be as simple as saying No more often. Saying No can be difficult at first but what you will gain is more respect from others than saying yes all the time. This turns the word “No” into a positive thing.

We all like being in our comfort zone even when it becomes uncomfortable. This is especially true with relationships, whether intimate, friendship or business. Who wants to leave that warm and fuzzy comfort zone even if our boundaries look like they went through a paper shredder?

Knowing when to walk away from a relationship that has run its course just strengthens your boundaries and moves you to the next level. 

Jobs, finances and stagnant phases of your life can all be interconnected when you are not living your dream and respecting your boundaries. Maybe it’s not your job you hate but the disrespect or feeling under appreciated you dislike. Again it comes back to boundaries, allowing someone to take advantage of you or like the saying goes,”You teach people how to treat you.” Standing up for yourself is not a selfish thing, it allows you to live your life fully.

Looking at your life through this boundary lens may be a whole different approach for you but I promise if you try it you will definitely see changes within yourself and others around you.

Start small looking through your boundary lens and when you feel ready then tackle the “mad as hell” situation in your life.

Small can be something as simple as how you spend your time every day. Is social media, email or text messages robbing you of precious minutes? Stand your ground and reclaim that time for you!

I hope seeing your life through the boundary lens will open up a different view for you and allow you to change some things that need to be addressed. As a very wise person told me recently; “Not everyone deserves a front row seat in your life” and this can be true for everything not just people.

I would love to hear your comments or even questions about your boundary issues.

* If boundary issues are a problem for you or you would like some creative ways to deal with some of these things, look for my upcoming workshop, “The Art of Defining Your Boundaries~A Journey of Self Reflection.” Launch date January/February 2013*

 

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Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Retirement. It’s the alluring white light at the end of the tunnel that we move toward, eyes focused on what we hope is paradise at the end. If retirement is the reward we are focused on, then what are we truly missing before retirement?

YOUR LIFE.

Your exciting, passionate life that you can be living right now at this very moment. The life that you are saving like a set of guest towels or fine china, packed away ever so neatly for just the right time. The life that you talk to your financial planner about and save for every day. The life that you say, “Oh I can’t do that now, I have to wait.”

Why are we so hesitant to truly live the lives we want to live and feel the need to wait?

The answer is simple; fear. Fear of change, fear of money, fear of what people will think or say. Fear of living wildly and passionately by doing what you want to do every day instead waiting patiently for that magical retirement number to roll around.

Here’s your WAKE UP CALL to living your life right now! Living and doing that which adds passion and value to your life.

First let’s find your passion. What excites you, gives you that spark, that fire and allows you to view this retirement thing in a whole new light?

For me it was owning my own business as a massage therapist and living on a farm. Two separate dreams that merged into a life that I find exciting and passionate. To add to the exciting adventure I call my life, I am happy to say that now I’ve added my love for writing.

Anything is possible if you open your mind and listen to your heart’s desire. 

Danielle LaPorte has the best empowering video for fueling your passion and getting your mojo started:

If you can’t see the video above click here.

Second is the BIG money question;“I have bills to pay and I need to make so much money to survive.” 

I thought the same thing before I quit my corporate job to pursue my massage therapy business. The surprising thing I found was I could live on much less. I was astonished by the fact that I was making less money (and uncertain money ~ remember starting a business) and eliminated more debt while still paying my household and business bills.(In full disclosure here I have to add that I have made my share of money mistakes but I still came out ahead.) 

What’s the money secret? First it’s not a secret; I knew that I HAD to master the money thing for it to work. I was determined not to let money be the barrier between doing a job I love while living my exciting life all before retirement.

Later on I discovered the envelope system through Dave Ramsey and as simple as it sounds it works. “You have to tell your money where to go,” Dave says and it’s true. Once you give your money direction you will be amazed at the results.

What is the envelope system? It is a simple method of having envelopes set up for your cash expenses and filling them with the money allotted each week from your budget. This is the same “system” that your grandparents and parents used and it still works today.

The third thing that may be putting your exciting life on hold is;  “I like having nice stuff.”

Let’s separate the “I like nice stuff” from the stuff you may truly need. What will you do when the fridge dies or the water heater breaks?

Let me bring you back to the envelope system. It works every time and cash helps you break the “plastic habit.” Also spending cash keeps you very honest with your purchases and gives you leverage when making those purchases. Cash talks!

And the final question is “I can’t leave my job because….”

You are the sole support of your family or you may feel you have too much time invested in your job to pursue another. All of these are valid reasons. But making time for a life that you are passionate and excited about before you retire is very a valid reason also.

Rearranging your work schedule or working part time might allow you to enjoy something you have been putting off until retirement time rolls around. Who knows you may find a new career path that gives you the excitement and pleasure you desire and deserve right now.

Be bold enough to invent your own retirement life instead of modeling what the rest of the world does. Find your passion, pay off your debt and start living your life in this moment! Don’t let that magical retirement number dictate how you live your life.

Let me know what your plans are for living a passionate and fulfilling life before retirement. I love hearing your comments.

*For my Zen Chick Community members check out my new website design by clicking on the link in your email. Let me hear your feedback and thanks so much for your support.

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Great is the art of beginning, but greater is the art of ending.  ~Lazurus Long

Don’t cry because it’s over.  Smile because it happened.  ~Theodor Seuss Geisel

It’s almost over, done and finished. In the art of ending and our continued theme of “letting go” I’m finishing up a long standing volunteer board position. How does it feel? Good, sad and it’s time.« Continue »

“Moving on is a simple thing, what it leaves behind is hard” – Dave Mustaine

Try this, look over your left or right shoulder while walking forward at the same time. Yes it can be done but it makes forward progress a little more difficult doesn’t it?

This is what we are doing, figuratively speaking, every day when we start and spend our days dwelling on the past. Whether it’s a past incidence, situation or a friend/family member that is estranged, we can’t move past it. Each day we are “carrying” it around and at the same time trying desperately to move forward with our lives.« Continue »