Happiness is not some “thing” to be pursued, it is a way of being born from appreciating – Rasheed Ogunlaru

At the beginning of 2023, I decided that instead of resolutions or goals, I would embrace two mantras, “Be Happy” and “My life is mine to create.” These two things seemed to be easy reminders to follow or so I thought.

Easing into the 3rd month of this year, I feel I have had several lessons appear about the happiness thing that I want to share with all of you.

First, have you ever noticed that when you make a proclamation like my mantras, everywhere you turn, someone is writing about that exact thing and the stories are popping up like rabbits? It’s like someone is stealing my thoughts or listening to my every word (oh wait, that’s our phones, LOL!)

Anyway, I did read some interesting stuff and what I learned is while I’m working on being happy, bad things are still happening around me that make me feel sad, mad, and lots of other feelings that are anything but happy.

What I learned from my reading is the minute you try to push all of those other feelings away, and work at getting back to “happy” the harder those feelings push back. The solution to this is to let those feelings happen, giving them the time and space that is needed before working your way back to being happy.

This is where I think “being happy” gets a bad rap because if you are happy you should not have time to give space to bad feelings. (Let me add here that negative feelings are not bad, they are part of the human experience, so let’s not discount them.)

If you went around all of the time, with rainbows shooting out of your head, how in the world could you ever feel compassion or empathy?

This leads me back to being happy, it’s not something you get from slapping a smile on your face when you feel like shit, or like the quote above says, it’s not a “thing”, it’s an appreciation and it happens in little moments, snippets of your daily life that makes your heart sing.

Life will crowd in, and bad things will happen to the people you love and care about, but in a small moment, the sunrise is so stunning that it makes you smile and you send a prayer to that person in need. You hold a door open for someone else, share a smile, or listen to the person speaking to you without interruption and their gratitude fills your heart.

That is my lesson about happiness and I’m working on being more aware of each of those happy moments as they come into my life, appreciating them more and more, filling my second mantra, “my life is mine to create” with them.

I hope your “happy” is a sunrise or sunset away, time with a friend or family, or just having that moment of peace all to yourself.

Happy for me is also having you, my tribe, right here in this little corner of the internet. Thank you for your support and love!  Drop one of your happy moments in the comments below, I would love to share in your joy.

The holidays usually invoke these emotions, dread, joy or both. You dread the family member you have to spend time with and joy comes from spending time together. It’s an oxymoron, right?

Not really when we think about all of the other emotions that get stirred up during this time of year. We may love the decorating, baking and all of the fun stuff but dread those people that we may only see once or twice a year that we have nothing in common with, or have an issue with, or in my case, the kids that have declared an “emotional time out.”

For me, at first when dealing with the declaration of an “emotional time out”, there’s disappointment, anger, and a little guilt but after I stepped back and viewed the situation with a clearer perspective what I came away with is relief! That may sound horrible to some but why put yourself through a situation that is filled with tension, hostility, and people that don’t want to be in your company?

Is that really what the holidays are all about or what society has made us believe we “should” do?

I’m not trying to be a “Debbie Downer” but let’s look at this a little deeper, who really says that you can’t take an emotional time out during the holidays? Where is there a law written that says, the cousin, sister-in-law or kid you have an issue with has to come to your house? Or you have to go there? Or in my case that I have to spend time with kids that have issues with me?

Yes, I know there are repercussions from other members of your family but what is your sanity worth? A lot I hope! And who has to live with your decisions but you in the end and you may walk away with a greater sense of self-esteem and boundaries.

So back to my personal situation, which did spark this post, for one of my kids, it has lead us to an amazing dialogue about how we got to this point and my other kid, well I’m still waiting but that’s okay, I would rather take this emotional break than to look back on these holidays as the holidays from hell. That may not work for you but peace and good vibes are very important to me right now.

Does all of this make me a little sad? It did in the beginning and it may for you too if you decide to take that time out but what may be gained is hidden treasures of awakening, boundaries and possibly an amazing dialogue.

Now I would love to hear from you dear readers, would an emotional time out be something you would be willing to risk? If not, why?

Sharing is caring, so share with someone in your tribe that might need to hear this too.

Peace, love and happy amazing holidays!

“Love casts out fear” ~ Dorothy Day

There is so much going on in our world right now, turn on the TV, internet or just turn on your phone and you are hit with a firestorm of negativity fueled by hate, dislike or unhappiness.

Where’s the LOVE?

It’s right here where it has always been, hidden behind walls, doors and hearts until it is asked to come out in public when something horrific happens. Then it is shared across all media like it’s a new bright and shiny thing we have yet to see.

REALLY?

Don’t get me wrong, I love seeing people coming together when things turn ugly, showing their love for whatever the reason or cause. I want to see more positive things on the news, social media and on my phone rather than all of the other negative stuff.

But what I don’t love is having to wait for a tragedy to happen to see all of those things in bright lights. Why can’t we see more of the love and less of the hate and fear?

Because love doesn’t sell in the media world, it doesn’t draw you into a vortex of tragedy. It doesn’t “play well” with politics or war or most news stories.

But we all need more of it, more compassion, more positive words. And it all starts with us, you and me.

We can feed the hate and negativity through our words and actions or we can send out LOVE with our words, energy and actions.

LOVE is always here, waiting, hoping for a chance to grow stronger, move mountains and change our lives and the world into a place where love lives full time. 

So send out some love right now to someone (that you might not even know) that is hurting. Give a hug to a friend or stranger that might need the support. Change your language to include more positive uplifting statements or declarations so that energy goes out in a good way.

Turn off the news, social media and your phone if you find yourself with your shoulders tight and your jaw clenched. Turn off the hate and fear.

Be brave, breathe deep and send out more LOVE.

P.S. And I LOVE all of you for spending your time here on Zen Chick!

“Sacred space” is another way of saying “with intention.”
― S. Kelley Harrell

As I write this post there is snow on the ground, a full moon overhead and a hush in the air around my farm. The silence of snow is something I consider very sacred. Life has to slow down and all of nature respects the sacredness of the moment.

Moving that feeling of sacred into your everyday life keeps that feeling alive and keeps your soul grounded. The best way for me to do that is to have a space in my home for a personal altar. I also keep sacred objects in my car along with objects in my massage room where I work. This keeps the sacred everywhere in my day to day life.

Now before you get turned off because you are thinking this is woo-woo or too religious, stop right there! Hear me out before you completely close down this idea.

What and where you set up a sacred space is up to you, it can be on your desk at home or work, a small table in your home, the corner area of a room, a special area of your car, any place that can hold some items that are sacred to you.

If your sacred space is used for meditation then you may have a statue, candles, crystals, prayer beads and whatever else speaks to you when you meditate. If your space is smaller, like a corner of your desk, then it might be a special stone, feathers, or sacred beads. You chose what connects to your soul and helps keep you grounded.

In my car I always have small wind chimes and a tiny medicine pouch which are things that bring me a sense of protection and sacredness. On my desk sits a native pottery vase with different feathers that have come to me at different times in my life, a stone from a friend’s trip to her home town in the North and a #Truthbomb card, Medicine card or Sacred Path card that carries a lesson for my week. My massage room holds so many tiny sacred objects from different places and people there are too many to name.

The objects that reside on your altar can and will change from time to time so don’t think that once you place an object there it will always be there. Just as you grow and change on your journey so too will the objects that you connect with on that sacred soul level. Be open to any and all things.

Set your intentions, listen to your soul and create a sacred space just for you. Feeding your soul is as important for the nourishment of your health and well being as feeding your body.

Look around and find those items that speak to your soul, carve out an altar space in your home, office or car and embrace the connection of the sacred to your soul.

Your soul will thank you.