Zen Chick

Zen Chick

Slow down. Simplify. Love your life.

"There is more to life than increasing its speed. Slow down, breathe and enjoy. "

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Shifting My Thoughts, Changing My Year

By Gay Barefield Leave a Comment Feb 10

Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world,

Today I am wise, so I’m changing myself.

When 2018 started, I was completely determined to make it MY YEAR! I turn 60 this year and with the beginning of each new decade of my life, I like to start it off with a bang! Some dramatic change that adds simplicity and peels away all of the layers of living that I have accumulated. (you can only carry around so much emotional baggage!)

So this year I was determined to stay focused on the positive, every day, regardless of what else is going on in my world or the world as a whole. I set a few intentions for this year, one was to continue to maintain my daily meditation practice, listen to my intuition more and let go of worry, doubt and overwhelm.

In the last two weeks, the Universe decided to put the shift in my thinking to the test, delivering me a series “what else could go wrong?” antics. What I found when I shifted and focused on as much positive as I could, was angels disguised as humans.

Angels who helped me navigate my situation, no questions asked. Who remained calm and kept my problem in their sights and worked with me. Angels who, when I became frustrated, empathized and once again remained calm. And even a “coffee angel” who gave me a much-needed cup of that wonderful brew. (most of you know how I feel about my coffee LOL)

As I write this and look back on these last two weeks, I see and appreciate the blessings that these angels gave to me and how even in the face of lots of frustration and stress, focusing on the positive made things easier.

I know this year will be filled with more of these challenges, I fully expect it because life is a bumpy, rough journey with smooth edges thrown in to temper the path. But knowing that my journey now is the beginning of a new decade, I’m more determined to make more smooth edges and smile often over the rough parts.

How about you? Can you join me in this new way of thinking and together we can be wise enough to change ourselves? What a beautiful impact we could make on the whole world.

Leave a comment and tell me what shifts you have made in your thinking. And please share this post with a friend.

Peace and Love!

Stress Is NOT A Badge Of Honor

By Gay Barefield Leave a Comment Oct 19

“You pay for stress all the same way, no matter how good the reasons.” ~ unknown

I’ve been a massage therapist for 25 years and I see stress up close every day in the work I do with my clients. Stress is something we all experience, some days or weeks more than others and it’s called “Life.”

Here’s where my issue comes in with stress and women (sorry guys this is all about the ladies) is when I hear a woman that is “proud” of how stressed she is, saying things like “See I knew my shoulders were so tight, didn’t I tell you!” or “I knew I had all of these knots that I can’t get rid of and I don’t have time to take care of myself.”

The response I feel these women want is, “Good girl, I’m so proud of you for carrying that stress around like a real trooper and I want you to continue piling it on because it will prove you are a really tough girl!”

Society teaches us, as women, that we should “put on our big girl pants” and take everything on ourselves while the rest of the world marvels at our tenacity. That mindset translates into a warped sense of a job well done, a job that will kill us if we don’t stop holding it up as a badge of honor!

So how do you stop?

Start by listening to your words around stress, listen to your girlfriends’ words around their stress, remind yourself and them that “doing it all” is not a worthy merit badge to work toward nor to brag about.

Ease up, (I promise the world won’t stop revolving), take a little time to reflect on why you think you need that badge of honor. Is it guilt? Or a sense of duty? Or is it the way things have always been and the fear of change is standing in the way?

Taking time out for YOU is a much better badge of honor to earn and by working toward that badge, you are also teaching each of us that it’s okay to have that time.

PLEASE, we need the power and beautiful energy of women now, more than ever before. The more you take care of yourself and diffuse the stress, the more your light shines brightly on Mother Earth.

And that can heal a lot more than just tight shoulders!

Peace and Love to you all!

Sometimes You Need To Take A “Time Out”

By Gay Barefield Leave a Comment Sep 8

Time out. We think of it as a punishment for bad behavior in kids. Or as a break from the day to day grind.

But what if we used it in our lives as a way to step away from one aspect of our lives that may be creating a great deal of stress? That gives time out a whole different meaning.

You push, pull and bang your head against the wall over this one area of your life and it appears to get you nowhere. So you try a different approach, using head busting logic to will it to change. No luck there either.

“So now what?” you may ask. The answer, take a time out. (or a sabbatical, if that sounds better to your ears).

Whatever you call it, it should clue your mind into the notion of being put on notice…“We (you and your mind) are no longer thinking or acting on this one aspect of our life right now!”

There doesn’t that feel better all ready? Your shoulders drop down to a normal level, your jaw unclenches and your breathe begins to deepen.

This is where I am right now as I write this post, I have put one aspect of my life on notice and refuse to deal with it until I’m  good and ready.

Does that mean I’m in denial?

No, not at all. What it means is I’m tired of going over the same old stuff in my head and getting nowhere, so I’m taking a time out, a step back, a beautiful sabbatical from that aspect of my life.

I haven’t set a time limit because I trust that I will know when the time is right to come back, to gently step back into the edges of this aspect of my life with a new awareness.

And if I decide not to allow this back in my life then at least I stepped away long enough to make a good decision instead of one made in haste or anger.

I know I made this sound a little too easy and it’s not, it requires some patience (with yourself) and a willingness to let go of drama, expectations and lots of head chatter. And your time out may only require an afternoon, a day, a week or it might be like mine, a little longer.

Stop beating yourself up, instead step up and allow yourself the freedom to step away. You might be surprised at the changes you make when you are ready to step back in.

Share this post with a friend who may also need to take a “time out” in their lives. 

“Who” Are You Still Dragging Around Every Day?

By Gay Barefield Leave a Comment Jun 14

“People have to forgive. We don’t have to like them, we don’t have to be friends with them, we don’t have to send them hearts in text messages, but we have to forgive them, to overlook, to forget. Because if we don’t we are tying rocks to our feet, too much for our wings to carry!” 
~C. JoyBell C.

Okay quick question, who comes to your mind first thing in the morning? Is it your spouse, partner or child?

Or could it be that person(s) that you are still angry with or the one that is upset with you? Or is it someone or something from your childhood that you just can’t let go of?

All of these are important questions when it comes to your health, simplifying your life and your emotional well-being.

We all have “those people” in our heads that we keep having conversations with or replaying the event that we felt was unfair. But when you keep replaying the drama and conversations it’s like watching the fuel gauge on your car moving steadily toward empty.

In the morning you start out on a full tank of energy and when the mind drama starts you feel your fuel gauge drop more and more until by lunchtime you feel like you have no energy left to give.

Recognize any of this? Someone or something is draining all of the energy right out of you every day and you don’t know how to stop it. Or do you?

I have fallen victim to this little tragedy time and time again. But this week I decided to flip the switch on a thought pattern that was dragging me down and take that big leap. That’s right, it’s the “F” word, that word that gets thrown around a lot and treated like a “red headed step child.” (remember I’m from the South, we say these things.) Ready?

FORGIVENESS.

I know you have heard this so much it makes you want to puke and I don’t blame you. I felt the same way but this week when I said it out loud (in my head) to the person in question and knew that I forgave them not for what they did (that still bites) but released them from my mind, heart and soul, it felt freeing.

Not only did I feel more free from this one little (okay really big) thing but my energy level shot up, my mood lifted and my mind was much clearer.

“Hey this “F” word is a pretty good drug!”

Did I mention that forgiveness also lowers your cortisol levels ? Less stress = less cortisol. And keeping your adrenals and cortisol levels balanced is one of the keys to your overall good health.

Great now you feel better from the inside out which is very awesome but the work does have to continue especially if you have been dragging this person/situation around for a long time.

So try this:

  • When the situation/person comes to mind, just repeat your forgiveness statement and move on.
  • Remember, you are not forgiving the wrong that you felt was done to you but you are allowing this person/situation to move on from your life.
  • It is not necessary to say it to them nor do you ever have to allow this person in your life again.

This is all for you and only you and it is a sweet release!

So are you ready to use the “F” word a little more to reduce your stress, simplify your thoughts and improve your health?

I hope you will and would love to hear from you in the comment section if you think you can add a little more forgiveness in your life.

Share the love of this post with someone else in your life who might need to open up and add a little forgiveness to their lives too.

 

 

photo credit: demandaj via photopin cc

What The “Pain In Your Back” Is Really Trying To Telling You.

By Gay Barefield Leave a Comment May 31

Emotion always has its roots in the unconscious and manifests itself in the body
~ Irene Claremont de Castillejo

As a massage therapist for 20+ years, I use my eyes more than my ears when I ask a client how they are feeling. Their body tells me the whole story while my client may only give me the “cliff notes.” My ears then listen for the real story as they talk about what is happening in their lives.

Every pain, ache and discomfort has a story to tell which is usually more than the “I did too much yard work or lifted something the wrong way.” Yes these things can cause the issues but when they keep recurring the story line goes a little deeper blending in a mix of emotions to make the story even more interesting.

Making changes in your life can set off those pesky pain triggers, whether it is from a financial worry (lower back/sciatic pain) to feeling like you are carrying the weight of the world (neck and shoulder discomfort) or just good ole resistance (knees/hip pain) telling you that change is a bad idea.

And you thought you just had to worry about the naysayers in your life when you started making changes, right? 

Muscles (my specialty) have memory and a lot to say if we stop long enough to listen especially when you are trying out a new exercise routine and one particular move just doesn’t feel right.

Too much information at one time (different forms of bodywork along with a new exercise routine) can create a situation in your body which resembles the antics of 2 year old toddler, whose favorite word is “No” followed by an unwillingness to do the things you want them to do.

Muscles can only digest little bits of information at a time and when they are full and don’t want to “hear” one more thing, they stomp their little muscle feet and say……”NO.” (which usually results in tighter muscles)

Your body and that “inner critic” voice in your head are in cahoots together too. Yep, if they both think something is not a good idea, they will pull up the emergency brake and put your butt on the couch.

Sound familiar? 

But your body is also the master voice of “gut instinct” (intuition) and that is a voice worth listening to. 

Click to Tweet!

Your body is an amazing thing and there isn’t any technology available that can duplicate all of the wonderful things it can do every second of every day. Most of the time your body knows when there is a problem before you even have a clue and has auto corrected it without you doing anything.

Awwww Apple, the human body can still one up you!

So where do you go from here? Throw up your hands, call it quits giving in to that persistent ache or just bulldoze forward?

Here’s some suggestions:

  • Become a detective and a friend to all of the nuances of your body.
  • Start a conversation, asking your body what it wants and how you can make its job easier.
  • Respect it’s signals and honor its voice.
  • When a pain or ache becomes persistent spend time looking at the whole picture of what’s going on in your life.
  • Stretch and move more (dance even). This keeps things loose and can also help to open up that one little area that won’t quite let go of its tightness.

I hope this has opened your eyes a little more to all the things that affect you and the beautiful body you live in. Now I would love to hear from you in the comment section about how that persistent ache may have awakened you to the real issue in your life.

Share the love of this post with someone in your life that needs to see that a “pain in their back” may have a whole lot more to say.

 

photo credit: Samantha Evans Photography via photopin cc

Tis The Season

By Gay Barefield Leave a Comment Apr 22

Tis The Season

At home I serve the kind of food I know the story behind.~Michael Pollan

Can you hear it? No I haven’t jumped ahead 8 months and hear Jingle Bells. What I do hear is the emergence of fresh fruits and veggies, bursting forth in this glorious Spring, ready for the picking and eating.

Spring cleaning can also apply to your eating habits and what better time to make some changes and clean up your diet. In the next couple of weeks, farmers markets everywhere will be opening up and selling their first round of fresh produce.

« Continue »

Walking on the Earth

By Gay Barefield Leave a Comment Feb 6

Walking on the Earth

“People usually consider walking on water or in thin air a miracle. But I think the real miracle is not to walk either on water or in thin air, but to walk on earth. Every day we are engaged in a miracle which we don’t even recognize: a blue sky, white clouds, green leaves, the black, curious eyes of a child — our own two eyes. All is a miracle.”  

 ― Thich Nhat Hanh

Walking.  It gets us where we need to be, moves us forward or away and allows us to be mobile. Walking gets taken for granted most of the time and we need to be reminded of its amazing powers. Here’s a few examples of how walking shows up in our everyday conversations:« Continue »

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This is a place where we learn to slow down, enjoy our lives as they are right now, and simplify through reconnecting with nature and the moon. Learn more on the About Me page.

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These are charities that I believe are making a difference in our world. I welcome you to check them out and please donate if one speaks to you.

World Central KitchenWorld Central KitchenI believe that food, shelter and water are basic rights for every human on this planet. Jose’ Andres’ and his WCK group step in to provide beautiful, nutritious food during disasters, the pandemic, and any other opportunity where people need to be fed.Learn More Foothills Humane SocietyFoothills Humane SocietyThis is my local shelter, in Columbus, NC, doing a wonderful job at remaining as close to 100% no kill as possible. Animals make us more human and I believe in adopting not shopping for pets, saving a life with a new beginning.Learn More Trees, Water & People Trees, Water & People Caring for Mother Earth by planting trees, helping people live sustainably and decreasing our carbon footprint are things that I see as very important for the next seven generations.Learn More Lakota Law ProjectLakota Law ProjectI have a strong kinship to Native people and this group works to change many of the injustices done to the first people that still go on today, such as the right to vote.Learn More

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