“Expect a lot, accept a little and reward often” ~ Pat Parelli, Horse trainer
There are many differing opinions about expectations, some say keep them low and avoid disappointment. Others say to aim high and exceed them. The final consensus is to let go of them all and simplify your life completely. No expectations, no worries, mon!
So who’s really right?
High, low or no, what matters is your expectations and what you are expecting from yourself and others.
For example, when you start to make changes in your life or start moving toward your passion, you may expect everyone else in your life to be on the same page and feel exactly as you do. When they don’t you feel hurt and rejected because your expectations had you looking for acceptance and support.
“Don’t they understand what this means to me?”, becomes your battle cry and your distress builds leaving you angry and even more rejected.
How is the best way to deal with repeated hurt and rejection when others in your life do not meet your expectations?
First understand that you (and all of us) are human beings with differing perceptions and opinions. That’s what makes us all unique and what I call “the human factor.”
The thing that you were so fired up about may have sparked something different in the people closest to you, leading you to the disappointment of not getting the reaction you expected from your support system.
The best way to deal with expectations that leave you flat is to always add “the human factor” into the equation. This will take your expectations to a different level allowing you to view the situation through another’s eyes.
For me, I can set the expectations bar pretty high and will project it onto others. (love my sweet husband for usually pointing this one out) Doing this leaves me all ramped up and the inner critic becomes a very loud voice in my head who won’t shut the hell up! This is how the leap off the ledge of high expectations begins.
I have two choices, be mad because someone didn’t meet my personal expectations of what they should have done or not done or add the human factor into the situation and try to see things through their eyes.
Adding the human factor never means that you change your personal honor code of expectations (your morals), it just moves things to a different level so that you can step away and look at the bigger picture. When the bigger picture comes into view, you might see a reason to lower or release that expectation all together.
What about you? Are you willing to release some of your expectations or start adding the human factor into some of them for yourself and others? I would love to hear your comments and as always share this post with a friend.