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Why Success Scares The Hell Out Of You

By Gay Barefield Apr 19

“When you take risks you learn that there will be times when you succeed and there will be times when you fail, and both are equally important.” ~Ellen DeGeneres

Close your eyes and breathe in deeply. Now I want you to think about how you see success, what it looks and feels like in your mind.

Does it come in the form of making a million dollars, running your own company, writing a number one best seller or traveling the world teaching the masses? Is it shiny and bright or does it make you feel powerful, on top of your game and ahead of the pack?

Now open your eyes and tell me truthfully, what you envisioned success to be, was it your vision or someone else’s?

It’s easy to find yourself caught in the trap of defining success through other people’s eyes or by society’s definition. We start a project or go after something that we always wanted to do using a standard of measurement based on other people’s data.

That is why success can be so freakin scary and what keeps us from trying something new. We don’t think we will ever “measure up” to someone else’s definition of success and when we don’t we see it as nothing more than a failure.

“I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone.”~Bill Cosby

“Failures are successes in a different package.”

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Again we have a tendency to view failures by someone else’s standards instead of seeing the fact that we went after that project and it didn’t work the way we thought but we still succeed in going for it. Or you started the new business but you are not making the money you “thought” you would at first. Still considered a success.

Measuring success by what feels right and what satisfies you on a soul level takes the scary out of success. Not setting yourself up for the failure because of “what ifs” and “what will they think” allows you to go after what you want on your own timeline.

For example, I’ll use this blog as proof. I started this blog over two years ago because I wanted to share the things I have learned along my journey and the things I share with my clients. Now according to the “blogging world” standards, I should have thousands of subscribers, instead of my small wonderful community, be making lots of money and if I’m not then my blog is nothing more than a “hobby.”

For me, it’s not a hobby because I get to connect with all of you and get amazing feedback. Also I enjoy stretching my writing muscles more than is comfortable and maybe one day it will become more of a business model. Do I consider it a failure by MY standards? Absolutely not!

I enjoy bending and breaking those hard core rules, setting my own standards for success, knowing that what feels right for me is all that matters in the end. The one thing I truly do not enjoy thinking about is looking back and wondering what would have happened if I had just tried this……(fill in the blank)

How about you? Are you waiting to start something because that fear of failure or success is being defined by someone else? Stand up and step out, do it your way and don’t look back. Quit listening to the naysayers in your life and listen to your soul, that voice is sweeter and stronger the longer you listen.

I would love to hear from you, tell me what path in your life you want to start traveling (is it a new project, job, etc.) and how you are going to start listening to only you. Share your success stories in the comments and share the love of this post with someone in your life that might be scared of success.

photo credit:StockMonkeys.com via photopin cc

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