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“When tea becomes ritual, it takes its place at the heart of our ability

to see greatness in small things.” ~ Muriel Barbery

I was listening to a podcast by Annika Martins. She was interviewing L’Erin (the force behind SisterFire) and I was struck by the realization of what was missing in my life. The answer to why I had been feeling such a void and disconnect deep in my soul.

Small everyday rituals.

I had let some of my small but very important everyday rituals fall by the wayside. These were the things that kept me grounded, soul connected and balanced.

So why had I left them behind if they were that important?

There isn’t a good reason except when life speeds up or we get hit with a crisis, survival mode kicks in and everything else gets pushed out of the way. We promise ourselves that when we get through this crisis or life slows down just a little we will add these little rituals back into our lives.

And the further we get away from them the more distant they become until, like me, you can’t figure out what’s missing in your life and why you feel so out of sorts and disconnected.

Small everyday or weekly rituals are the things that bring us comfort, ground us in the here and now and slow our lives down within the moment we are enjoying the ritual.

Rituals are everywhere if we look for them or we create them out of a need or longing in our lives.

For instance, Brenda, one of our Zen Chick community members, told me that when the Sunday Chat arrives in her inbox, she sits with her cup of tea, dog and cat by her side and reads our Chat. In her words, “It’s like an old friend has stopped by to share good conversation and tea on a lazy Sunday morning.” (thanks Brenda!)

Adding a small everyday ritual to your routine might be what’s missing in your life or it could be the one thing in the day to day hustle of your life that keeps you grounded and peaceful.

Try one of these rituals or create your own:

• Take a few extra moments to enjoy and savor your morning beverage (of course mine is coffee). Sit with it and truly taste it instead of gulping it down.
• Enjoy a daily walk with your favorite doggie. It doesn’t have to be a long walk but 10 minutes outside will clear your mind.
• Sit at the dinner table and enjoy your evening meal. Turn off the TV and turn on some quiet music.
• Spend 10 minutes daily doing yoga or some form of stretching.
• Write it down. If things were crazy in your day, clear your mind by putting it on paper and leaving it on the page. If it was a good day, write that down also, noting what went well.
• Block out 10-15 minutes before bedtime, to read, meditate or just relax. No TV or computers allowed during this time.
• And the most important ritual to do every day; do what connects you to the Divine, be it prayer, sitting in nature, meditation or just sitting quietly.

Life will speed up from time to time and yes, your rituals will find themselves tossed to the side but don’t let them stay away too long or like me, your soul will speak up and let you know what’s missing in your life.

Now it’s your turn to share, post one of your small everyday rituals that keeps you grounded and connected, on our Zen Chick Facebook page. Sharing these simple rituals with each other can help all of us handle the unexpected and the hurried when it arrives at our door.

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“Busy is a drug that a lot of people are addicted to” ~ Rob Bell

See if you can relate to any of these sayings;

•  “I’m so very busy”
• “I’m crazy busy”
• “Today is a busy day”
• “My life is just busy.” 

Sound familiar? 

Busy is a word that gets thrown around a lot and it is used for various reasons. Sometimes we are trying to deflect a project we just don’t want to do. Or a request for something that really doesn’t fit into our lives. Or it’s just a way of saying “Hey I’m important because I’m so freakin busy!”

The word busy can become a crutch, a catch all phrase that allows us to throw up a road block when we either don’t want to deal with something or our ego needs a little extra fuel.

I’m here to confess that I’m as guilty as anyone for using this word and it has served its purpose well. Recently though I got called out on the use of the busy word in a blog post from one of the bloggers I follow, Courtney Carver, and it made me rethink how and why I use this busy word.

I started to notice that sometimes it was an automatic response and before I knew it the word busy was out of my mouth. Then when I did catch it I had to think about the “truth” behind that busy word and face the real reason I was throwing it out there for someone else to catch.

Busy also showed me that I was using it for things that I should do instead of things I wanted or could do. For instance, I should be busy cleaning the house when what I really want to do is read a book or ride my horse.

After looking at the reasons I use the word busy, this quote about “Busy is a drug” really made me understand how it can be used as an escape or can keep you away from the things that you truly want to do in your life.

So let’s find some ways to help you be less busy and give space to the things that you truly want to do:

• There is a great saying about how you will be remembered in your lifetime and it’s not for how busy you were or how clean your house was but how well you lived your life and the way you treated others. Keep this little tidbit in mind when busy comes knocking.
• Become very aware of how you are using the word busy, are you trying to deflect something you really don’t want to do? If so, try another way of saying it like, “Right now that just doesn’t fit into my life but I appreciate the offer.“
• See if your busy is all about what you should do as in “I should be doing this but I really want to do that.” Ask yourself how important that should really is.
• Start organizing your time better. Take only one thing each day off your busy list and do it, spending all of your energy on that one item. Or don’t even have a list at all and when you start your day just say to yourself that this is the one thing I want to accomplish today. (the bonus here is when you dedicate yourself to one thing you will be surprised at what you really get done)
• Know your limitations! You don’t have to save the world in a day or a week and the word “No” is a positive word for you to start using more often.
• Make sure you always have time for YOU because when we do, do, do for everyone else and we leave ourselves out of the equation, the word busy becomes a very big part of our vocabulary. Give into some “me time” and what you give out to others will be an equal energy exchange.

Try a few of these suggestions and see if the word busy starts to leave your life a little more often. I would love to hear your comments over on the Zen Chick FB page, so come on over and tell us your thoughts on the use of the word busy.

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“Where does stuff go when it dies, does it go to stuff heaven?”~George Carlin

The cost I’m referring to is not the monetary value of the stuff you surround yourself with but how all of that stuff can cost you precious time and energy.

Intrigued? Let me show you what I have learned recently.

This little cost fact became very evident to me as I was packing up my office for my move into my new space. Although I had gotten rid of a great deal of my stuff in my last move I still found lots of stuff that I was holding onto for no good reason.

This stuff cost me time because I had to go through it as I was packing. Then it cost me energy when the moving crunch set in because I packed it up to deal with it later.

I did deal with it once I was in my new office but again it slowed down the process because it took both time and energy to sort and decide what to do with each item.

Spending a little extra time weeding through your stuff on a regular basis=less time being overwhelmed by a larger weeding project when you let things collect.

Along with my move into my new office, my hubby and I are in the midst of a remodeling project in our laundry room at home. What do you think we discovered there? Lots of stuff that needed to be moved to its proper location or needed to find a new home elsewhere.

And the really bright side to all of this was less stuff=less money for the project because it cut the cost of storage space we thought we had to have.

Which lead me to this realization:

As I’ve gotten older (that’s older and wiser, thank you!) is how much stuff  I would be leaving behind for my children to deal with and how I truly don’t want that for my kids. Having dealt with such situations in my lifetime I know what a heavy burden it is to leave for anyone you love.

For that reason and the fact that I’m truly enjoying less things in my life, I am trying to decrease as much stuff as possible. I’m giving things to my children ahead of time so I can share in their joy while I’m with them.

I’ve also found ways to combine some of my most precious things into something that has wonderful memories for me.

I did this recently with some jewelry combining my engagement ring with my grandmother’s diamond from her engagement ring to make a very unique ring that holds even more memories for me.

The best part of this combining memories was paying for the whole thing by cashing in the jewelry that I never wore.

Less stuff=making your own unique memories.

Letting go of stuff doesn’t mean you will lose the memory of something or someone because memories live on in your mind not in the physical thing. But letting go of some of your stuff means you have time to make more memories instead of being a slave to taking care of the stuff.

Less stuff=more time to do what you want to do with your life.

Do you want to be remembered for the stuff you had or the time you shared with the people you love while having a life you truly wanted to live?

Look around you and see what stuff you have that might give someone else joy or the ability to feel good about themselves. Start the process slowly and over time you will find ways to combine some of your most precious memories into something uniquely yours.

I would love to hear from you about how having a few less things has made your life a little better and how you combined some of your most precious things to make them extra special for you.

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