Zen Chick

Zen Chick

Slow down. Simplify. Love your life.

"There is more to life than increasing its speed. Slow down, breathe and enjoy. "

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Archives for December 2013

Loving the Imperfect You!

By Gay Barefield Leave a Comment Dec 28

“We are all wonderful, beautiful wrecks. That’s what connects us–that we’re all broken, all beautifully imperfect.”
~ Emilio Estevez

A new year for me always means a clean slate, a fresh start on how I want my life to go. As I was plotting the new direction of my journey for this next year, I realized that one of the first things I needed to do was to work on truly acknowledging and accepting my shadow side.

For those of you that don’t know what I mean by ” shadow side”, let me explain.

We all have a side of ourselves that can be dark, where we harbor negative thoughts, wishes and even desires. Our shadow self is not something we want to talk openly about and more often we deny.

You can’t accept what you don’t acknowledge so I’m here to share my discoveries from the other day when my shadow side was running full tilt and very uncensored:

  • inside the ugly hateful thoughts that were filled with strong words, there was a light of clarity
  • that clarity lead me back to the true root of my feelings which was fear first, then anger
  • the anger and fear revealed other dark feelings that truly made me understand,
  • to deny any part of my shadow self would be accepting only part of my whole being.

Loving and accepting this part of yourself is the bridge to moving forward into your life fully so that you can do and be all that you want to be. We all have a shadow side and the more acknowledgement you give to that side of yourself the more freedom you will have.

“Accept your dark side, understanding it will help you to move with the light. Knowing both sides of our souls, helps us all to move forward in life and to understand that perfection doesn’t exist.” ~ Martin R. Lemieux

Once you accept that you are not always going to be “cupcakes and sunshine”, what’s your next step in acceptance?

Keeping an open mind so that you can view your shadow self through a non-filtered lens, looking for the message within the darkness or simply learning to let those dark moments pass by without judgement.

The moment you hear the words, “Oh I shouldn’t feel like that or how could I think that” is your cue to tune in and see where your shadow side wants to take you. Will it lead you to clarity like mine did or do you just let it rage and move along? Either way you become more schooled in what your shadow side wants and in time acceptance will become easier.

Just like anything else in life, this is “life work” which means you have to roll up your sleeves and get dirty. If you want to grow your life then you can’t scratch the surface of the ground and expect to grow a wonderfully lush garden. You have to dig deep, plant well and enjoy reaping your harvest once you have succeeded.

That my friends is how you create a life you truly love and what better time to start than at the beginning of a new year.

Will you accept my challenge and join me?

I would love to hear your comments in the comment section below. And share the love of this post with someone in your life and have them sign up so they can receive even more love.

* 2014 for me personally and here at Zen Chick is going to be all about “breaking the rules.” Breaking out of  what I’m suppose to do and blazing some new trails. If you would like to be a trailblazer, jump on over to my Work With Me page and see how I can help. Let’s make 2014 a year to remember. Peace and love to you all!

 

photo credit: enggul via photopin cc

What’s Your Hurry?

By Gay Barefield Leave a Comment Dec 7

“Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas.”~ Peg Bracken

Do you feel it?

There is a steady hum of energy as the anticipation of the holidays moves into high gear. As that energy current moves along we can get caught up in the wave, swept away helplessly in the frenzy and frustration. The pulse and hum of that energy sounds like a drum beat drumming out, bu bu…buy, buy, buy more as the flashing Christmas lights blind you causing you to wander aimlessly in and out of stores. You become disoriented, confused and oh so burned out……

But wait does it have to be this way?

Only if you really want it to be. 

The holidays can come in with a wave of frenzied energy bringing with it all of the stress, financial burden and family issues. And yes you can get caught up in it but let me repeat, “only if you want it to be that way.”  You have a choice!

Last year I wrote a post  about our family’s newest tradition of no presents and that tradition lives on this year too. What we have found in the 3 years of honoring this tradition is a very relaxed holiday season and happier wallets. We have more time to spend together, time to talk and catch up, enjoy great food and not feel rushed or stressed. We have even made our Christmas menu simplier and gave the feast award to Thanksgiving where it belongs.

It’s easy to fall into the hype and stress because the pressure is all around you…but for what? Will you really be happier spending more money, more time and more of your precious energy doing what everyone else is doing? Or would you like to break out of that “pack mentality” and start your own tradition?

Doing something different during the holidays doesn’t have to be as radical as what my family does but there are other ways to dial it down a notch and keep your stress level on an even keel.

Here’s how:

  • Buying gift cards for everyone on your Christmas list. Easy peasy shopping for you and they get the gift they “really” wanted.
  • Dial down that big ole Christmas feast to a few items, have it catered, or turn it into a big ole potluck.
  • Set dollar limits on gifts or stick to the one gift only rule. That way no one feels like they have to top someone else’s gift.
  • Donations to each person’s favorite charity that is on your list makes a great gift for that person and to the charity you are helping. It’s a win-win for everyone!
  • Only decorate what YOU feel like doing. No one will mind if you don’t win the neighborhood holiday theme prize this year for the best yard decorations, it’s all about what you have the time and energy to put into it. If you want to win that prize then go for it!
  • Pack up the family and give them a Christmas to remember, a vacation. What better way to create less stress then to leave it all behind.
  • Host a drop in event for Christmas Day. Everyone can come and go as they like, less stress, less cooking and no one feels like they have to be on a schedule.

These are just a few suggestions for making your holidays a little more simple, a little more relaxing and a lot more enjoyable. Holidays don’t have to be a marathon event unless you want them to be so kick back, put your feet up and have your favorite beverage. It really is that easy.

I would love to hear your thoughts (down in the comments) on how you make your holidays less stressful. Let’s all work hard at NOT working hard during the holidays and enjoying the time and love with friends and family.

Share the love of this post with someone you may know that needs to have a little less stress in their lives for Christmas.

photo credit: tommarsh via photopin cc

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Welcome to Zen Chick!

This is a place where we learn to slow down, enjoy our lives as they are right now, and simplify through reconnecting with nature and the moon. Learn more on the About Me page.

Charities

These are charities that I believe are making a difference in our world. I welcome you to check them out and please donate if one speaks to you.

World Central KitchenWorld Central KitchenI believe that food, shelter and water are basic rights for every human on this planet. Jose’ Andres’ and his WCK group step in to provide beautiful, nutritious food during disasters, the pandemic, and any other opportunity where people need to be fed.Learn More Foothills Humane SocietyFoothills Humane SocietyThis is my local shelter, in Columbus, NC, doing a wonderful job at remaining as close to 100% no kill as possible. Animals make us more human and I believe in adopting not shopping for pets, saving a life with a new beginning.Learn More Trees, Water & People Trees, Water & People Caring for Mother Earth by planting trees, helping people live sustainably and decreasing our carbon footprint are things that I see as very important for the next seven generations.Learn More Lakota Law ProjectLakota Law ProjectI have a strong kinship to Native people and this group works to change many of the injustices done to the first people that still go on today, such as the right to vote.Learn More

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