You have decided to:
- carve out time for yourself
- eat healthier and exercise more
- quit your job
- write a book
- start your own business and the list goes on….
Your friends and family think your new changes are a great idea so you are met with a resounding “Good for you!” cheer.
Until you actually start to make those changes………
Then the sabotage and questions start with a relentless force.“Why do you want to do this?” “Have you lost your mind, this is not a good idea?” or “Isn’t that a little selfish of you?”
“What the hell?” you think, “what happened to all of the cheerleaders that thought this was a wonderful idea?” “Why can’t they just be happy for me?”
This can be the point in your pursuit where your journey toward success can come to a screeching halt all because of what other people think.
But wait, it doesn’t have to be this way!
It’s hard when you feel like all of the people around you are not as happy about your changes and you begin to feel that maybe you have decided to do the wrong thing or that it was a bad idea.
Change regardless of how positive it is in our minds is viewed as a death of sorts.
Stay the same = good for them.
Make a change = viewed as a death of the familiar and comfortable.
When you look at your changes from other peoples’ perspective, you see why they are trying to get you to stop doing something different. It may scare you but it really scares the hell out of them.
Here’s why; you will move forward in your life and they fear that you will leave them behind. Or you will be doing exactly what they wish they could do but their fear of failure is greater than yours.
Either way to your friends and family, staying the same is safe and it keeps you in their “tribe.” But ask yourself truthfully, do you want to stay the same?
Whether your change is a small one like taking more time for yourself or something really big like starting your own business, you will always be faced with the naysayers and those naysayers are going to be some of the people closest to you.
When I announced to my family that I was going to quit my comfortable corporate job and start my own massage business with two kids still at home and a husband who had started his own business 2 months earlier, I got the “Have you lost your mind?” reply.
Did that stop me? No way, it made me more determined to pursue my dream and not look back. I had to believe in myself, my abilities and I found a different support system, the “tribe” that would cheer me on.
That doesn’t mean that you turn your back on your family or your friends but what it does mean is you will start to attract different people into your life, people who can see what you are trying to do because they are making similar changes in their lives.
These people are your new “tribe”, both of you recognize that common drive and share a similar spirit. These are the people that you draw strength from and who keep you going when you feel that you have nothing left to give.
So really does it matter what the others think? Yes it will matter a little but in the bliss of your success what they think will truly become “none of your business.“
Whether they come back to being your cheerleader or not (most will), you my friend were brave enough and strong enough to make some wonderful changes in your life! Good for you!!
I would love to hear from you about a situation in your life where you were faced with the naysayers and how you handled it.
And as always, share the love of this post with someone in your life who may feel no one will support them when they make some changes. Let them know you’ve got their back.